Loaded

"... can't keep their mouths shut, can't keep their noses out of people's business.

... I hear what she says about him, what she exposes about his life when he's not here, and then I wonder what she says about me when I'm not there. I keep my mouth shut."

words of christos tsiolkas.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

You Play Love Like A Fool

"the sense of ending" is a beautiful book. literally. i love how crisp and dark it has been made. i'm usually not a fan of hard covers, but it has a really nice feel. i love the black edges too. oh, and the story's good. i feel like i'm in an all-boys school once again. i feel like i've met adrian, anthony, colin, or alex before. like there was actually five of us. like i was sitting on a wooden chair at my wooden desk again with the morning dampness in the air, with teachers you love and hate preaching their philosophies.

haven't felt lost in something, other than reality, for so long.

it's been ages since i've picked up a book. i realized, this is only my second buy for the year.

i've become a slow reader. but damn it feels good. definitely worth the wait making that mph assistant search for it for half an hour aimlessly. bliss.

Morning Already

i reached home at seven thirty in the evening last night. made myself indomee, and passed out on the couch till 4am with the tv running on what was suppose to be law and order. then i continued to the bedroom and knocked out till 8am.

effects of too many long morning. at least, i feel a little bit alive now?

i thought september was gonna be a horror. i feared the unknown. i couldn't wait for it to be over.

turned out it's going pretty well. sometimes we just gotta have a little more faith.

Overheard At 30-odd Thousand Feet

aircraft xxx: singapore radar, xxx radio check?

controller: say again aircraft calling?

aircraft xxx: radar, xxx radio check?

controller: xxx loud and clear.

aircraft xxx: oookay. just checking. very quiet here.

controller: okay, we can see you. you're still flying.

aircraft xxx: yea we hope so!

*******

i have come to a point, where i've somewhat resigned myself to fate. it's almost as if the case of giving your best yet your best isn't good enough. since good enough is subjective, as is many others aspects of life we will live to realize. if i was really not good enough, then i accept the fact. but if i was not good enough because you feel the need to feel empowered and belittle others, then this would be a heartbreak. such is life. nasty. so, i will try to take everything in it's stride, come what may, i'll come out of this taller.

if not already.

" In this life anything can hurt you,

Push you, then forget you,

Erase your history.

But I remember me, I remember me,

It don't matter where I go,

What I'm told,

Now you know.

I remember me, I remember me,

Even if I say goodbye,

Start to cry,

Do or die,

I remember me. "

- jennifer hudson "i remember me"-

Need A Clearance

" you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

you could be here,

you could be somewhere else,

you could be gone.

so just get it.

if you like something,

get it.

don't think so much.

don't think about the money.

money will come and go. "

great advice from the aunty, if she only knew about the credit card statements that come with the things i like. not so great. nevertheless, words i can and will live by.

not that i haven't *gleams*

anyways, the other day i got a call from the credit card company. how excited i was initially. seeing how loyal and such a good customer i was, i thought they called to say i won a car or an all expense paid trip to ibiza or some plain cold hard cash. nope. nehi. they had some saving plans they wanted me to sign up, and it's so awesome, they can just start charging it to my card that i'll be saving without doing anything. can you sense my excitement that i did not use an exclamation mark at the end of my last sentence?

i don't need another savings plan, but i would be eternally grateful if you could just clear my outstanding statement like it never was there?

THEN maybe you could start charging me for your (insipid) savings plan. doesn't help that your "marketing strategy" was to curse me, saying in a decade i'm gonna be in financial ruins filled with debts.

smart ass.

*sings* stop calling. stop calling i don't wanna talk anymore *runs away*

Beggin' For A Saturday

i really like this cover. happy saturdays everyone!

Cherish (part 3)

your mum had lost so much weight. she was nearly a size zero. i kept thinking victoria beckham in my head. i noticed her face had sunken in however. but still, i kept thinking to myself, to lose that much weight in such a short time, she must have worked hard!

before i could tell her how amazing she looked, Kit, my colleague, grabbed me by the wrist and squeezed. i held my words, and shrieked just a little.

"she's got cancer. her husband just told me. i'm freaking out". i froze.

damn it. what do i do know? i literally felt as if i had been dumped into a freezer. i tried to carve a smile, but my whole face was stuck in such an awkward position. now everything made sense. why your dad looked worn out. why he was so angry about the album. why your mum lost so much weight.

oh my gosh. what would happen to you?

Kit squeezed my wrist harder. "shut your mouth and smile".

the missus was looking my way and i was stunned with all the thoughts running through my head. i forced a hello, not sure if it could be heard. then she came my way.

"from your expression, i'm guessing you heard", your mum said as she took my hand. "i don't have much time, the doctor confirmed it. so the important thing now, is for me to spend as much time with my family. to make memories. as many as possible," she said as she wiped the tears that had welled up, "and you've been taking wonderful pictures, i want you to continue doing that for us. i don't know how the future will be. i pray he'll grow up to be a strong boy. nevertheless, he needs to know i'm there for him in the toughest situations. it's going to be hard, i can't imagine. one day he will miss me and he'll have so many questions. he'll probably get into an argument with his dad, and i pray and hope these pictures will provide him some comfort. i won't be there, this is all he has."

i blinked and managed a weak "okay", as she proceeded to get ready for the shoot.

i could not fathom all that was going on. why would life present itself in such an ugly manner? give you happiness, then just pull it back from right under your feet? it's like a teasing game. give you a taste of what you could have, then saying you can't have it. why would anyone have to subject themselves through this unjust? how would you ever comprehend this? i could not.

then your dad came over and said, "i would like him to know how much she loves him. i can't think of any other way than through these pictures. he needs to know his mum loves him. he needs to know she never left him. he needs to remember being with her".

it felt as if the world started moving in slow motion, if it did not already stop. i tried to put myself into their shoes. but even as a passerby, this was torture. seeing such a strong structure slowing crumbling into pieces, i wondered, what really mattered in this world then? if this does not last, if this is how the fight ends, should we just give up already?

"it's not always about forever. sometimes it's about whatever little time you have that matters. the memories you make, you cherish them forever. at least, you tried. at least, you had them even if it was just for one moment. i hope one day, he'll understand".

was my thoughts being played out on a megaphone? your dad's words seem to nail the spot. then he asked me a favour, one i had never done, or even our company.

"the day she goes, will not be the happiest day. but she insist, it should be a celebration of life, instead of a day welcoming death. i don't know how i'm going to be on that day, but when it comes, i'll try to remember her wishes. she wants everyone to remember her for the laughter she has shared, the memories she has made, the smiles she has given and brought to others. that is why, i'm asking you a favour, if you would take her memorial portrait today. she doesn't want a portrait that our family and friends would not recognize her, or one that as she puts it 'wouldn't compliment' her. she looks good today", he said with a wry smile.

as your mom took her seat and adjusted her dress, i held my breath as i had held my words. i picked up my camera.

(some stories need to be told)

Cherish (part2)

just before noon one day, your dad brought you in. you were nicely snuggled in your pram with all the colourful toys dangling above you, stealing your attention. your dad however, something was a misfit in him.

i could see it in his eyes. my gut twisted, as i knew he wouldn't be leaving our shop today a happy man.

"you told me two weeks, it's been a month. how long do you expect my wife and i to wait? we don't have forever", your dad spoke in dismay. i apologized. profusely. an album of yours had encountered some mix up and we had problems printing it. i hated this. your parents had been the most gracious customers, but this, although beyond my powers, i could do nothing else but to apologize on behalf of the store. i wished i could have printed it myself.

your dad then asked me, when could it be completed? and this time, no delays.

as i answered him, i noticed how he had started frowning more. the lines showed. i wondered, maybe you kept him up late at nights? his presence, had not felt the same either. there was a drop in his shoulders, a tiredness in the way he spoke, and his gaze clouded his mind from the present. i don't think he was even listening to me speak because before i could end my sentence, your dad spoke again...

"don't tell my wife it's not ready yet". i nodded. "she's not feeling well. i don't want to make her worry". your dad pulled a gentle smile.

it's not uncommon to find women these days with post-natal depression. or maybe, parenting isn't as easy as they make it out to be? the around the clock care can be exhausting. i wondered. his eyes looking afar, his thoughts even further, he then said, "i want you to take more photos of her later when she comes in. as many as you can with our baby too. pictures paint a thousand words, don't they?", he raised an eyebrow, "and they remain eternal for that moment in that picture. never aging like dorian gray". i couldn't agree more.

i heard your mummy's melodious greeting while i was in the back of the store getting my camera. she said "hello everyone" with such delight, i felt i was stuck in a musical. when i saw her in the flesh, i was literally wowed.

(to be continued)

Cherish (part1)

they say the firstborn would always be memorable. a milestone, a blessing, a beginning, a turning point going either way. i remember the first time your parents brought you in. by the end of the photoshoot, the other photographers and i were left hanging in wild imagination to put a face on you.

from the first session, we could see the look of joy in their eyes. they were so proud of you even then. i remember, how they lit up everytime they spoke of you. from your progress, your response to their baby talk, to doctor appointments, to your heartbeat. you became the center of their universe. soon, i was a satellite orbiting you too.

i used to think pictures like these were corny. over-zealous parents gushing over their child. never looking in the camera but insisting multiple shots be taken of them looking down on you nestling in your mummy's tummy. then i met your parents. your daddy's gentle care over your mummy's every move. your mum the happiest woman i ever met. i remember your mum having this big personality to match the pregnancy. everytime she walked in, the mood in the whole store would change. it's like she'd sprinkle fairy dust on everyone and we'd forget our worries. there was something so different about them. they made us feel we were part of the whole pregnancy too.

everytime i picked up the camera, i just had to click. there was no need for me to adjust the lighting, or tell your parents where to stand. they did it so naturally, and all the pictures would turn out beautiful. your dad would be so careful not to hug your mummy tight for fear of harming you, but she would would grab him close. the sheer laughter and genuine smiles made me a little envious of them. it also made me realize how important you were. they would speak of their futures for you. who would be the good parent, bad parent. and how they had plans to embarrass you when you grew up. i hope you've been good so they would spare you this humility.

they say, pregnancy makes a woman glow, makes her most beautiful than she's ever been. i would agree since working in this store i have met so many mothers. but here was a rare case, that rubbed it's magic onto the father as well. your dad had a glow of his own. never once did he frown when he came into our store, and he had this charm when he spoke to his wife that made james dean look less of a gentleman. i felt like i was living in a happily ever-after movie at times.

few months later, and we had a new customer in our store. you finally popped out of the oven. well your mum didn't exactly say "popped out", but that's a whole different story for another day. we finally met you. never met a child more charming than you. surprisingly big eyes for an orient child, spiky hair with bruce lee-like long sideburns, handsome smile, and very friendly too. someday this child of yours is going to be a heartbreaker, i told your parents.

"not if he's staying under our roof!".

everyone in the store wanted a piece of you. your parents did not need to look for a babysitter, they'd get free labour with us as we passed you around like a musical box. that was the day we took your first family photo. i'm sure you've seen it at home many times. the one with your dad slightly teary-eyed, your mum hugging you tight. i remember it clearly, because i took that shot.

and i also keep a copy of it. reminds me of the satisfaction in my job.

(to be continued)

Sharp Knife Of A Short Life

i'm a little addicted to this song lately. i know its quite old already, but there's something very catchy about it. the whole concept of the song, morbid yet uplifting? i don't know what it is exactly. it reminds me a little bit of eminem's stan. love the song, yet it's daunting if you wonder how someone could even think about it in the first place.

it feels so real. the emotions, the message, and horrifyingly the lightness of it all.

i especially like these lines:

" there's a boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
who would have thought forever could be severed by
the sharp knife of a short life "

it's either from a real life experience, or the writer's morbid. maybe explains why i loved watching the addams family, perhaps?

Someone Like You

About time I understood those words. From the way your hands glided, to the ends of your fingertips on me. Your case was upfront since the beginning, but was it so wrong of me to dream just for a second?

I think, I remember you said, I wish nothing but the best on you...
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Does It Resonate Yours

" there is a reason i'd said i'd be happy alone.

it wasn't cause i thought i'd be happy alone.

it was because i thought if i loved someone,

and then it fell apart,

i might not make it.

it's easier to be alone.

because what if you learnt you need love?

and then you don't have it?

what if you like it?

and lean on it?

what if you shape your life around it?

and then,

it falls apart.

can you even survive that kind of pain?

losing love is like organ damage.

it's like dying.

the only difference is,

death ends.

this,

it could go on forever. "

-grey's s07e22-

A Touch Of Thought

i get that everyone has a right to an opinion. or opinions for the matter of fact. opinions, the lovechild of creativity and guts. or just a point to show you weren't sleeping through the boring lecture or class.

see the funny thing about opinions is, sometimes people get so contradicting with it. take this for an example. went someone asks me where do i work, or what do i do, i tell them, "i'm a pilot". they assume i'm a captain, and i correct them i'm not. my rank is so-and-so, my designation in the chain of food, i mean command, is co-pilot.

"oooo so you're a co-pilot", they go. "what do you do? since the captain flies the plane, you just sit there? fancy job".

then i explain the whole nature of my job, the task-sharing, and such, but they just end it off with "so you don't really fly the plane".

this is where i start my search for a noose. but God blessed me with perseverance, so i take a deep breath instead, and just smile. i smile a lot.

the flip side of people on the other hand, comes out to play when they experience an uncomfortable landing. a quick remark, "must be the co-pilot".

thank you. but point to note, we can land airplanes too.

*******

i don't really follow idol these days, but i do watch if i have the time. i think haley reinhart has improved the most this season. she's got an amazing voice, and she's starting to choose the right songs. i don't think the judges have been all fair on her performances. i wish she would win, but reason she won't win: i think she still lacks stage presence. ahhh but experience would cover that.

i think james screams too much, and it's unfair he going offtune just because he's emotional is forgiven and forgotten. we don't need another lambert. i can't even comprehend how you can call whatever scotty is doing as singing. and lauren is just mediocre. haley ftw? who am i kidding.

Two Chairs

two chairs stood there,

you sat in one,

it looked like you were waiting,

"for me?" i kept thinking.

two chairs stood there,

nonchalantly you whisked me everywhere,

like i knew your past and you knew mine,

on my face you painted a smile so childlike.

you rattled stories seemingly careless,

unknown to me this beguiling world of yours,

piece by piece i patched the scene,

no time i had to even ask your name.

second day and you quizzed my day,

as soon as i walked in you had your first say,

i lament the mundane; what was going through my head?

you took no note then went ahead.

first out came the past,

trivial matters of the lost,

then the sorrows ensued,

my knees went weak and in that chair i slumped.

following day you were by the window sill,

you began with all your wants and will,

i noticed for the first time you were an enthusiast,

i drowned at that sight while sinking into seat.

through the window pane the beams gently fell,

such a beauty had got me under a bewildering spell,

then in all fascination it occurred to me,

i knew your past, your future, but never your name.

two chairs stood there,

you sat in one,

it looked like you were waiting,

"for me?" i kept thinking.

but darkness had fell over the room,

and the light in your eyes was covered in gloom,

i took the seat and asked if you were okay,

"this chair is taken", and you turned away.

Am I In This Alone

back home in jb for the weekend. i need a break. it's been a low in april. i need a dose of happiness. and maybe some tlc? nothing home, can't cure. who knows what else i might find here that i haven't already found. everything changes, right? life unexpected.

currently addicted to this song. hope you guys enjoy it. it took me nearly a week trying to figure out the artist and title. nearly made me go crazy. i'm like a level below curiosity killed the cat. i'd probably get checked into a mental hospital instead of an ICU.

" Normally I try to run,
And I might even want to hide,
Cause I never knew what I wanted,
Till I looked into your eyes.
So am I in this alone?
What I'm looking for is a sign,
That you feel how I feel for you,
Baby please don't let me go."

love the musical feeling of the video from the first chorus on. a day dream of sort. like a wedding. which reminds me, bring on the bride and groom next month! it's gonna be a celebration.

If Darkness Falls

what would you do?

sometimes i fear this happening. what if i open my eyes one day, and everything turns black? there is emptiness staring me dead in the eyes, yet i know it's not the case. sight is everything to me. i love to read, i enjoy movies, i need it for my job.

little things we always take granted.

if only all of us could take life in it's stride like how zach does, i think we'd see life in very different angles. please do read this.

it's worth your time, guaranteed.

Price Tag

the other day, the sister and family came up to kl for a surprise visit.

so the next day during breakfast, there was only wholemeal bread in the house. again, it was a surprise visit, and hence i couldn't prepare their "welcome". now no kids i know actually likes wholemeal. they prefer white bread, and if i knew they were gonna be staying with me, i'd buy white bread.

i was being too nice. kids hate wholemeal bread.

so when IvanTheTerrible saw me chomping on my bread, he quizzed:

"uncle sharman, why you buy the wrong bread? this not nice one. yuck".

ahhhh brutal kid honesty. but how do i explain that i intentionally bought that bread? because not a single reason seems to be good enough to overcome the "yuck" statement.

on a random note. i wanna own a house sometime in the future. i don't really care what the house looks like, but i want a big lawn. i want a house and lawn because i wanna keep a dog. a golden retriever. and he needs to run. yes, it will be a he. if he's behaved, he'll have his own bitch. she will be smaller. maybe one from the pound. i think it's pitiful if you keep a dog and not allow it to run. and being in kl, there's no parks to bring your dog for a run.

and being in kl, that kinda house, i can just dream of owning with such a price tag.

24 And More

turning 24 didn't have any of the hype as the previous years. there wasn't a countdown like I usually do. it was a quiet one as i ran off to cambodia.

and what a blast i had. it's the little surprises that leave such a sickening smile on my face. life will only get better here on forth.

sometimes we need to see the worse to appreciate all the good in life.

and sometimes we need a wild night to give life a much needed wake up call. a reason to work, a reason to get out of bed, a reason to laugh and have a ball.

keep the beat thumping, cheers all!

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I'd Catch A Grenade, But Not This

do any of you out there shop at jusco?

there has never been anything more annoying mankind has created, than their autopay machine. you know the annoying yellow one that talks and talks non-stop even though you're ahead of her instructions by the speed of light. yes, that one!

well i found out, it can get even more annoying.

try playing it in bahasa.

suicidal, i swear.

Runny Brains

march is here, and we keep marching on. for what, i'm still searching for the answer.

anyways, did any of you read about the varsity elections few weeks back? honestly speaking, i have no idea what's with the big hoo-haa of it all. seriously, how much power and authority are you going to gain? or maybe the experience? really how many employers are going to give a damn about that in your resume?

especially with the ridiculous child's play that went on. SERIOUSLY PATHETIC PEOPLE INVOLVED, you guys go on a rampage destroying public property for?! you expect people to put trust in you when you behave like that? whatever monetary allocation that could have been put to good use (a subjective thought considering money always go to the wrong people), now will be used to repair the damages. it annoys the freaking hell of me because for one, i'm a tax player. that money you waste, is my money too.

number two, seriously why are we wasting money sending these kinds of people to study, when obviously it's a deficit, rather than a gain to society?

number three, omg the money. what a waste.

number four, is this any indication of our future politicians? i seriously think WWE is far more entertaining. with the tv switched off nowadays. but at least they are being paid for the entertainment, not in this case. let's get ready for a bigger zoo negara.

some people will never grow, will they? which brings me to the Interlok debacle. the intentions maybe "wonderful". but let's be honest here. not everyone involved in this whole situation, are mature and would look at it, the way it is suppose to. there will always be the cynics, the minorities, the ignorants, the fools. be it student or educator.

*******

usually during departure from runway 04 out of penang island,

you'd most likely see penang bridge on the right side.

the co-pilot's side.

the other day as we took off,

captain turned to me and hastily said,

"look outside....

penang bridge clear or not?"

"urmmm. yes?", i replied.

"faster call hitz fm. be a cruiser.

tell them the bridge clear".

it was so long since i laughed so much at a lame joke.

i think i teared up.

Bring It All Back To MFM

i have a little phobia flying to macau.

back during line training, i used to do many macau flights. well, suffice to say, it wasn't pleasant. i was new and still learning. it was training, and expectations were high. plus, it was waaaayyyy over there over the sea, and many borders later, far away from my comfort zone of malaysia, a new route, new procedures, and so foreign to me.

no matter how much preparation, i could not even slightly imagine what to expect for my first time there.

so when i was called to be an extra crew for a training flight to macau recently, i had all the flashbacks of when i was in training. it made me queasy. it reminded me of the sleepless nights, the unanswerable questions that i had perfectly logical explanations just prior to it being asked, and the confusion of simplest procedures. it was scary. i felt like i was under training again.

but there was also a very funny incident on my first flight to macau that i will never forget, and even sometimes laugh to myself when i think about it. see standard aviation language is english. the standardization is important so other aircrafts in the vicinity knows what's going on, or where they are and what they are doing. it builds situational awareness.

so the first time i entered china airspace, not only was i bewildered by their accent, but also by the fact that they spoke mandArin to each other. hell my mandArin sucks, but i know mandArin when i hear it!

i remembered turning to my captain with a confused face of a person akin to seeing flying pigs and commenting,

" they're speaking chinese?! "

he laughed. i did not.

well at least now i do. especially when i hear them say,

"radar kan tao le".

i always let out a little chuckle hearing them say that. east meets west.

*******

"no furniture was so charming as books,

someone famously said.

people simply buy more books than they can read.

in the same breath,

humankind writes more than it can read. "

-something i read in NST today-

Usher Me A Welcome

today, at last i get to celebrate the lunar new year. got my red t-shirt out, got my red undies on, got the family all together for the reunion, albeit two days late but it don't matter. i'll take it as it is.

here's wishing all a great rabbit year ahead filled with good food, laughter, and wonderful memories with those who count!

and may my grandma's words of wishing come true soon :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Take 'Em Off

'Cos they ain't been through the things that you put me through,

And they ain't seen all the things that I seen in you

And they ain't never cried the tears you made me cry,

So they can't be the judge

one of the most underrated artist in recent times. anyways, the song has a really good meaning. not in the context of relationships only. one i always believe in. that nobody will know the shit you're going through, except you.

so they can't be the judge.

only you can.

Unfair Side Of Being Blood-Bonded

way back in the years before my existence was even contemplated (or even if it ever was but that's not part of the post), two of my elder cousins used to live with my parents as their parents were abroad. my parents took care of em like their own in the absence of my aunt and uncle.

or should i say, even better?

through flashback stories i learnt my mother decided one day to teach my dear cousin to drive. i'm sure they had driving schools back then, but i guess my mom wanted the american experience of teaching their own kids to drive. so off they went into the mini.

with no basic knowledge of driving, my cousin in the driver's seat of course. so the cousin sets the gear into reverse. releases clutch, presses down the accelerator and car reverses perfectly. till she panics when mom says to brake.

she floors the accelerator.

into a drain.

and my mom's reaction? she laughs. she laughs so hard she turns red as how i'd laugh when i find anything associated with cyndi lauper.

fast forward twenty years later, i'm sure mother wouldn't have laughed if i got her car into an accident.

wait. that's not what i wanted to blog. my point is, my mother taught my cousin to drive when the cousin was nowhere near the legal age to drive. ironically, my mother never let me turn the ignition when i was legal AND already taking driving lessons. she'd say wait till you get your licence. so you could figure how astounded i was when i heard this new bit of story.

"SHE LET YOU DRIVE? SHE DIDN'T EVEN LET ME SEAT IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT!"

"you all the real children. so maybe that's why she treat you differently", cousin tries to console me.

hmphhhh *double standards*

Last Night

i had the oddest dream last night. i had a dream that someone shaved off half my eyebrow away. and i had tried to go around life like everything was normal, sugar dandy fine as though nothing had happened. and in the dream, i succeeded.

lol.

if only life was as smooth sailing as dreams could be.

Don't Mess, I Am Yin Fire Wabbit

*taken from the sun*

"people born in the year of the rabbit often make ideal diplomats or politicians as they are imbued with grace, culture and beautiful manners. this makes them very hospitable and attentive people who take care of those around them.

although rabbit people get on well with everyone, at heart they are basically reserved creatures and are only really happy when they are engrossed in some sort of scholarly or intellectual activity.

most rabbit people harp on the importance of details, paying close attention to everything from colour, design and furniture to food and conversation. and only when they are sure that everything has been arranged as they wished, can they relax and have fun.

rabbit people often lead a conservative lifestyle with their security being their most important consideration. this quality of opting for safety over risk may cause them to miss good opportunities. but they do not thrive in a competitive or aggressive environment. they get anxious if forced to take risks and are unsettled by unpredictable situations.

however, rabbit people are sensitive to the world around them and can be sentimental and compassionate. they are easily moved by other people's personal problems.

romance

rabbit people make great partners in relationships. being romantic, sweet and faithful, they never lack for suitors. however, they are in extreme need of trust, security and tenderness in a relationship and are really happy when they manage to create an intimate and relaxed atmosphere.

they expect their beloved to be on the same wavelengths as them and any hurtful or careless comment will lead them to withdraw into their shell and place serious doubts in their mind.

in spite of their devotion to their loved ones, rabbit people also demand alone time for themselves. sometimes, it takes time for them to find a partner but when they find their soulmate, their attachment is boundless.

the rabbit is compatible with the goat, boar and dog, less compatible with the rat, rabbit, dragon, ox, tiger, snake and monkey; and least compatible with the rooster and horse.

career

call them cautious or call them timid, rabbit people will undertake nothing before weighing all the pros and cons from every angle. that is probably why rabbit people do their work so well.

they are balanced in outlook and cautious in approach, and like to be informed of all the facts before making a judgement. they usually cannot bear the cut and thrust of business life, preferring work that is more methodical and reliable.

at times, they tend to be too conservative in their thinking but are gifted with a positive yet practical outlook that few can fault. they also have a talent to avoid trouble and identify opportunities.

but it important to remember that their creative talents come to the fore only when they are allowed to work at their own pace. so the ideal jobs for the rabbit people are for example, as a counsellor, barrister, judge, solicitor, adviser, or secretary.

as a rule, colleagues value the rabbit people's tact and modesty and the fact that they are unlikely to step over others to achieve their goals."

i don't really believe in horoscope readings, but i have to say a lot of it is true. i just won't be believing the "fortunes" of my year to come ;)

All The Way Underwear

at the usual tea time hangout with the cousins and aunty.

aunty: you know your uncle only buys white coloured underwear.

me: what?!

aunty: ya. until now, he only buys white underwear. whether it's byford or crocodile, it must be white.

me: omg. i never buy white underwear.

cousin: uh huh. yours is like orange, and red, and green.

me: hehe yeaaa. striking green.

cousin: yup striking green. and the red also like wow from the other end of the road you see it hanging, you go "hey that's sharman's underwear!"

me: lol. omg uncle will die if he sees my underwear. the more crazy the colour, the more i'd buy it.

cousin: lucky your pants are black. if white pants the stewardess would say, "hey FO hari ni pakai warna hijau" and you would be wtf till you go and pee and realize you're wearing green underwear hahaha

the things we talk about sometimes, priceless.

*******

who ever started the myth,

really just wanted to make you look like a fool

when they said

there's a treasure at the end of the rainbow.

there's no end if it's a circle.

stop living in a dream.

No Seating On Fences

i found this piece of writing few weeks back:

with friends,

there just needs no reason for the things we do.

The Thing About Being Indian

one: you have way too much family. the other day at an aunt's place, a distant aunt came over with her family for a visit. so we sat over tea, ate, chatted, joked, story-told, then ate some more.

then the infamous indian goodbye. for those of you who don't know, the indian goodbye is when indians say goodbye to someone, but end up actually having more conversations than before. actual departure from the first goodbye, could take an average of half an hour. and this is me being conservatively nice. in that period of time, countless of goodbyes would be bade, but not a step taken towards the door. sometimes, participants head further away from the exit. in that period of time, suddenly there would be a tsunami of topics to be discussed. over and over again. recipes to be shared, numbers to be exchanged, address to be taken, who died, who did not die, family drama, etc etc. i guess standing up and talking would seem less rude and imposing to the host.

anyways, back to topic. after the whole tea-session and family reuniting, the distant aunt comes over to hug me goodbye, then says, "i don't think you even know me right?"

"aunty, i was at your daughter's wedding last year", i reply.

O.o

see. there's just too many of us to know everyone.

*******

two: you get lame jokes.

asked by my uncle, do you know why the airplane takes off with the nose in the air? then he does a motion with his hand similar to a take off, fingers pointing to the air first.

so i say "no" because i've never learnt aerodynamics or about bernoulli's principle in my life.

uncle: because there's always more people in the economic seats in the back, then first-class customers in the front.

principle of flight 101 y'all!