Mutant Onboard

Just got off the flying white elephant and found out TheReliableOne played a little trick on me. All this while I've been told we'd have a two hour transit between cities.

Instead, I find myself mind-boggled when I see the next departure many hours later. Thought myself silly for getting the time zones confused, recalculated the local time many times because our watches weren't synchronized yet but it all didn't make sense. The numbers didn't tally. Did I see the wrong flight? Impossible.

I turned to him and asked, "we have a five hour transit?", baffled.

And I see him giggling.

Ahhhh what surprises are in store for me. Oh well, as I usually say in-flight: sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

Gotta trust the pilot, right? Heh.


"Experienced" this (pic below). Had a little Jean Grey-xmen moment in the toilet. Would be cooler if I could "move" time though. That'd be helpful now!

Misinterpretation Of Communication

I don't know how I read that as "masturbating" instead of "maturing". Took me to finish reading the second para before I realized I read it wrongly.

Then I jumped back top to read again.

*slaps forehead*

Anyway, today will start another journey into unchartered territories. New adventures on the way :)

Burnt Words

" People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys.

They come from parrots. "

Friends gifted me this book, and I've been glued to it. So many twist and turns, and beautifully written. I can only imagine how much more amazing this book is in its original language. Wished I read spanish.

Endless time I'm left shocked and awed. It's addictive. I almost need to map out the less-than-6-degrees-of-separation between them characters because my mind can't comprehend all the revelations that keep coming. I love how everyone has a tale to tell, true or not. The story just keeps going. Akin to my harry potter fascination.

" Destiny is usually just around the corner.

Like a thief, a hooker, or a lottery vendor:

its three most common personifications.

But what destiny does not do is home visits.

You have to go for it yourself. "

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Like A Toy Airplane

The other day IvanTheTerrible and NigelBuscuitBoy were playing badminton in the porch when they spotted a red jet aircraft flying past. Excitedly (expectedly) they ran in the house screaming and shouting.

 

"Uncle Sharman your aeroplane flying! Come and see! Come! Quick quick!"

 

Oh boys, if only it were indeed my own aeroplane. I could afford a lot of other things too ;)

Anyhow, it's much better than my fate in the eyes of their younger brother. JoelGotGroove always takes his toys to the bathtub. Unlike sesame street, it's not yellow rubber duckies, instead cars, robots, or a toy aeroplane.

One fateful day during his bath he flew his aeroplane around pretending I was the pilot in the said plane. Suddenly the plane took a dive and he exclaimed, "oh no Uncle Sharman! Aeroplane falling down. Oh no!"

Then he crashed the plane.

Repeatedly.

With full dolby surround sound effects.

So much love.

 

One of my current addictives right now. I thought the video was really funny, do watch and enjoy!

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Dear Kitty

I've always been keen to read this memoir for many years. I remember reading about it in the papers when I was still in school, and the name Anne Frank stuck in my mind. I never did find the book till recently and finally got the chance to immerse myself in it.

It's been awhile since I read a novel this thick. Admittedly, lately I rather read simpler stuff because I can't wait to reach the end. With rosters being quite tight, I thought I'd never get time to read. Luckily, I persevered :p

I had reservations when I got the book. Anne Frank was a teenage girl. Could I relate? Could she hold my interest? I know it's archaic to think like that despite the many commends she has received.

I smiled when I read her first entry though. The way she wrote, light-hearted and warm. It was harder to put down than I earlier perceived.

Her entries were honest. I got sucked into the innocent abandon she wrote with. There were also entries with so much details, it felt like the journalist she aspired to be. As I read through her pages, her words felt as though they were for me. It felt as if I was Kitty, as if I could receive letters from the past. As I read more, "yours truly Anne Frank" was a friend I knew growing up. The different phases she went through, the fear, frustrations, hopes, despairs, all of it as if she conveyed personally to me. How a person so young like her, in such circumstances as hers, was able to keep pulling through, I cannot imagine. Makes one rethink about perspectives of life, the wants, the needs, obsessions and inspirations.

Reading the final pages today, my heart sinks at the unhappy ending my friend has to face. If you knew her, many like her, you'd ask why do certain people even exist. And therein lies all the contradictions about life.

68 years on this very day that I read her final words, the Secret Annexe was raided. Reading the after words, I hear a heart thumping so fast in the distant. I wish I could save her.

"I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death! And that’s why I’m so grateful to God for having given me this gift, which I can use to develop myself and to express all that’s inside me!"

- words from Anne Frank -

 

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Willy Bonkers

The blood turned out to be a side effect from the operation. A bloody mouth I had.

Retracing my words, I mentioned the nurses monitored my pressure and temperature every hour. Every time they came to check, they kept asking if I had gone to the loo.

Number 1: I felt like I was still on heavy anesthesia. I could barely reply them, much less take a leak.

Number 2: I had been fasting since 7.30am. I came out of the operating theater almost 5pm and didn't have anything to eat or drink, except for the drips. What was I suppose to dispose?

Finally at 5am the following day I had the urge to pee. I could almost hear a sigh of relief from the nurses. So after they took my temperature and pressure, I made my way to the toilet, trying my best not to make a sound so I won't wake the ReliableOne.

I stood. I tried. I panicked.

I needed to pee, yet nothing was flowing out. What the hell was happening to me? Is this why the nurses kept asking if I took a leak? Possible outcomes include a broken willy? Why wasn't I informed?!

How was I going to live with the urine bag? Could I still fly? What if turbulence broke the bag somehow? NOOOOOO...

I tried to rationalize the situation: doctor did a job upstairs, why would it affect downstairs? Come on, Sharman. Make some sense.

Yes biology and I don't go too well but I couldn't find the connection. I concluded I was merely freaking out for no good reason then calmed myself down. Closed my eyes and let it flowwww...

Peeing never felt this satisfying.

 

I later found out anesthesia could affect your bladder's mechanical work. Something like a temporary shutdown while it's in effect. See, I'm only filled with crap because of the anesthesia.

 

Deep Slumber

I never knew the anesthesia would last for so long. I was out for almost 14 hours. I wonder if my lack of sleep that day had any effect for my knock out.

I remember the nurses coming to check my blood pressure and temperature every hour. Each time they came, I would only be awake for about 5 seconds then I'd be back to slumber land.

I remember my throat feeling uncomfortable after the operation. Like I had phlegm stuck there. You know how annoying that is? It felt worse because it hurt when I tried to clear it, and the anesthesia made me feel woozy. The good thing was, the anesthesia made me feel woozy. So after a few attempts to get it cleared away, I decided to wave the white flag and go back to my deep slumber. Not hard to do at all.

But then I'd wake up every so often for a few seconds and I'd feel that uncomfortable phlegm stuck in my throat again. It's really really really annoying because I felt really helpless unable to do anything about it. I couldn't even whine!

So finally after many 5 seconds wake, I decided enough was enough and I could not take it any longer. I mustered all my energy I could find and tried to signal my bedside buddies for help.

I. Needed. To. Spit.

I turned. They brough me a cup. I closed my eyes. Held my breath. And cleared my throat. Ouch. Dammit.

Then spat that damned phlegm out of my mouth. I felt like a warrior that just owned a monster-that-wiped-out-an-entire-village.

In my semi-conscious state, I stared blankly. Baffled. What just came out of my mouth? That doesn't look green. Or yellow. Matter of fact, it's blood red. Fuck. Did the doctor tingle with my eyes instead? Have I gone colour blind?

Why is it red?!

Suddenly I felt like a boxing champ because I needed to spit out more blood. Round two.

Then panic loomed again. Why was I spitting blood? Is this normal? Should I be freaking out instead? I felt kinda cool because usually when people spit out blood, they're in pain but I didn't feel anything. I was doing it effortlessly. BUT WHY WAS I SPITTING OUT BLOOD? Was there some internal bleeding I should be worried about? Did I need to see the doctor again? Was I going to die? I did what I thought was the best idea then. If I was going to die then...

 

I'm going to sleep on it first. This anesthesia is doing me too good.

 

Balled Out Of My Mouth

I decided to get my tonsils removed a few days ago, and now I'm food deprieved. I can't wait to have my solid food again. But the frappes are a welcome!

I was initially looking forward to this operation, to the better quality of life it promised and because it was my first ever operation. You know, the excitement of doing something for the very first time? Yes I'm weird. Then as the days got nearer, I started to freak out a little. I started wondering the what if's. What if things go wrong? What if they find something they weren't suppose to? What if I wake up in the middle of the op? What if...

I have a side of me that has affinity for morbid thoughts.

Well the day came, and as I sat in the room with the ReliableOne counting down the minutes, I began to wonder.

Were they really going to wheel me down in my bed? I felt like I was taking advantage of these nice nurses. Perfectly healthy (except the tonsils) 25 year old over-stretched human being going for a free ride. That's not how my momma taught me. Or was I gonna walk down to the OT? Walking around in the gown made me feel obscene and that would be so undramatic of an entrance, no?

So in the end, I was wheeled down in my bed. There I lay, not sure where to look, what to think of, what to do. I tried to act natural and look at the ceiling, but not knowing where I was going was even more nerve-wrecking. In the cockpit, we always have one of the pilot's heads up. Usually that's me because I like to see what's coming. Hence, I felt a bit crippled and out of my place in that bed.

Let me just say, for my years of being infatuated with Grey's Anatomy, being a patient surely feels shitty. You're like a slab of meat being pushed around, nervous and cold. Then everyone around is prancing about doing something important, and you're just there humming to yourself. They lift you, slide you, poke you, and you realize the Operating Theater isn't that grand. Or much of a theater at all. So much for dreaming of a concert. It felt a little morgue-ish in fact.

The anesthetic doctor was a kind old man. He tried to entertain me, asking me what I did, where I studied. But I was plain nervous giving him simplest answers. Then I met my ENT for a whole 2 seconds, said hello and went missing. Then I was back to mr anesthetic and he was telling me what he was going to intoxicate me with. He said he was starting with the painkillers, and that's going to make me sleepy.

I was flying by the end of that shot.

Seriously, I felt why would I need anesthetic if I already felt mighty fine with just the painkillers alone? Then the anesthetic kicked in.

And I was knocked out cold.

For a surgery that was suppose to take half an hour, I decided to be a bloody patient. Took the doctors an hour and ten minutes instead ;p

 

Dear Dan Dan

'Da-Daaah!'


Sudden weight upon my back. Sticky fingers round my eyes. Cheerio breath in my face.


'Da-Daaah! Guess Who?'


You never had to guess with Daniel. Perched on the stairs above the landing. Same ambush every time.


I might step aside, let him crash into the wall. Or play along if I felt kind. Fight back more often, floor him. Times I really did forget. Not many.


'Da-Daaah! Guess What?'


'Did you see the hillycopters? Can you guess where I was hiding?'


Oh, Dan. I wish.

- "Hide & Seek" -

 

Bright Lights

Senses cold,

Blinded by your sight,

These guards crumbled,

My inhibitions lost.

Thoughts disarray,

Yet one was not mistaken,

In darkness I see your play,

In light all others were hidden.

Sooner or later you'll disappear,

My everything I forsook,

Dreamers run far and near,

Chance for a second look.

Save your bright lights for me,

All of it just this once.

Overheard At 30-Odd Thousand Feet

pilots have manners in the air. it's common to hear when flying through different countries' airspace to give a greeting like good morning/good afternoon/selamat siang/sawadeekrub when entering boundaries. i guess it's a little impolite to just barge into their airspace without a hello. this guy however, takes the cake for rudeness. 

when flying INTO kuala lumpur airspace a pilot calls to the air traffic controller:

aircraft: lumpur control, selamat datang! this is XXX.

it's like a stranger walks into your home, then welcomes you to your own place, claiming all your possessions.

maybe we should strictly stick to standard english phraseology. 

A Simple Life

i watched this film yesterday, and it pulled a lot of hidden strings in me. there were so many parts which i felt relatable. scenes where it almost felt like i was watching me from the outside looking in.

the drama starts slow. it almost felt dry, and i almost was wondering what i had gotten myself into. almost, because the movie picks up soon enough. i was really amused with how humour had left me laughing in stitches despite the inevitable sad note the movie is set in. the beauty in all of it is the conversations i think.

about two weeks back, i had the honour of driving one of my friend's nanny. while we drove, we spoke of many things like my friend's childhood, what she was like as a kid, how she's changed etc etc. like her, i also had a nanny that practically lived with us. like her, the nanny was with the family even longer than i had been.

see for those of us privileged to have another mother figure in the form of Tao Jie, it's hard to grasp and explain our relationship and dynamics of the whole family. sure she was paid, but never would we treat her like she was paid. she was indeed family. closest Roger could call himself was her godson, but i'm sure in truth, even godson is an understatement.

i grew up a certain amount of years, not realizing my nanny back then, wasn't blood related. she was there in family pictures before me. she was there when i was born, changing my napkins, feeding me food, buying me toys, she was there every step of the way. it's hard to explain if you have not been in the same situation because back then, our nannies were family.

it didn't help that i called her grandmother. or the fact i had never met my real grandmother. for many years, she was my actual grandmother in my mind till i eventually made out the whole scenario and why she had her own family.

when you realize this lady who's been taking care of you all your life like your own flesh and blood, i do wonder how she did it all. i do wonder, was it wrong for me to want her when she had her own family. was it fair?

in the movie, you see that wall breaking down between employer and employee. you see it in the conversations, how they tease each other, how they speak and treat each other, how they reminisce. the movie if it doesn't affect you anyhow, i'm sure the least it would do is remind you to appreciate life, for that is all we have. to be nicer. to be kinder. to give back.

watch this movie. it left me in tears, for laughter and otherwise.

" warm your hearts,

before the end of the world. "

Cockpit Conversations

Capt: you think we can go for flight or not?

Me: i don't think so.

Capt: i go back early also no point. my wife not here.

Me: where she went? holiday?

Capt: my wife went back to see her mother.

Me: oh okay.





Me: then we go search for you new wife la!

Capt: waaaah you sangat pandai ah!!! mau saya tinggal seorang seorang. you tau i sudah tua lagi mau saya cari wife baru. nanti my wife halau me!

Water Breathing Dragon

It's a new year! Hope everyone's having a splashing new year. This blog needs a splash of life too. Have been far too busy letting life get me by lately.

Things get a little frustrating sometimes. Everything moves so fast, it's the end of a year, and beginning of another. All I can remember was getting out of bed at ungodly hours. Was that really all?

There was a time I remember lying in a foreign bed far away and isolated with unfamiliar faces, wishing my biggest wish.

That I'd be exactly where I am, here, now, today. At that time, I'd give anything to be here. For at that time, this life was the perfect one. The greenest pastures on the other side.

But when you're finally where you wished to be, then what? What comes next? I guess it's normal to feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

Stop. Breathe. Time to remember to be grateful to the loving family, the great friends who have come and stayed on, the good memories, laughs and tears.

If this isn't enough, or just wasn't good, how would I have it? I've been reading a little more than usual lately. I keep forgetting life can be worse. And if I had it like that, how would I cope?

I can't imagine.

So time to brush the weightless off my shoulders, and be thankful for all that's here now. Family, friends, opportunities, and a working mind, body, soul.

Happy New Year everyone!