Sunday, June 10, 2012

Willy Bonkers

The blood turned out to be a side effect from the operation. A bloody mouth I had.

Retracing my words, I mentioned the nurses monitored my pressure and temperature every hour. Every time they came to check, they kept asking if I had gone to the loo.

Number 1: I felt like I was still on heavy anesthesia. I could barely reply them, much less take a leak.

Number 2: I had been fasting since 7.30am. I came out of the operating theater almost 5pm and didn't have anything to eat or drink, except for the drips. What was I suppose to dispose?

Finally at 5am the following day I had the urge to pee. I could almost hear a sigh of relief from the nurses. So after they took my temperature and pressure, I made my way to the toilet, trying my best not to make a sound so I won't wake the ReliableOne.

I stood. I tried. I panicked.

I needed to pee, yet nothing was flowing out. What the hell was happening to me? Is this why the nurses kept asking if I took a leak? Possible outcomes include a broken willy? Why wasn't I informed?!

How was I going to live with the urine bag? Could I still fly? What if turbulence broke the bag somehow? NOOOOOO...

I tried to rationalize the situation: doctor did a job upstairs, why would it affect downstairs? Come on, Sharman. Make some sense.

Yes biology and I don't go too well but I couldn't find the connection. I concluded I was merely freaking out for no good reason then calmed myself down. Closed my eyes and let it flowwww...

Peeing never felt this satisfying.


I later found out anesthesia could affect your bladder's mechanical work. Something like a temporary shutdown while it's in effect. See, I'm only filled with crap because of the anesthesia.