Spread Some Jam

after twelve days of bumming, it was finally time to get back to work. reality check, and a rude awakening from this slumber, i wasn't ready to head back to work. but i had to.

who was gonna support me? :P

i must admit, i was a little apprehensive heading back to the office. after such a long hiatus, skills were becoming a bit rusty. thankfully, captain was understanding and helpful. eased me back to the flow and order of it all. certain things have changed though. like the weather has become notorious, and the airspace in kl has become pretty congested.

as we headed back to kl, flying in from the east towards the peninsula just before kuala terengganu, we're given information to slow down and cross a certain waypoint at a given time. i laughed at a thought.

my friends out of aviation usually ask, jokingly, "how's the traffic up there? got traffic jam or not?". i'm not sure what kind of answer they expect, but they are always stunned when i say it's crazy up there in the skies. it's too high in the sky for you to see what's going on, but if only you knew how busy it was. commercial aircrafts are huge, but up at 20-odd thousand feet, we are invisible in the sky.

just to be clear, there are no traffic lights or road blocks up there.

instead, our traffic jam works differently. either: one, we slow down (you can hear the engines calm down significantly), or two, we do holding patterns in the sky. nope not funky moves, holding patterns are race course tracks. so if you feel your aircraft is turning 180degress every minute, well then you know there's a "traffic jam". and this seems to be the norm of late coming into kl. might be because of the surprising weather these days.

or maybe my friends are just stunned that i'm so explanatory. can't help it. it's what i face everyday i go to work, and it's a huge deal to us and our stress levels. oh well. this is me.

*******

" you must be religious.

oh no not religious,

you're holy.

H-O-L-E-Y!

see the clouds spread apart for you,

like moses spreading the red sea,

you go between the legs,

always looking for hole.

i'm gonna tell your daddy,

you're so dirty minded.

don't want to fly with you again.

on ground look hole,

in the air also look hole (between clouds)!"

Livin' On A Prayer

"you can't have your cake,

and eat it too."

isn't it ironic?

because,

"you dig your grave,

you lie in it."

Have a Little Faith

As I read the first few pages from mitch albom's book, I felt like I was being transported back.

As much as I love writing, at that particular time, my mind froze. I could not phrase a sentence. I could not make out the meanings of words. At a time when my writing could come to good use, I could not. I could not figure my mind. My hands shivered. I trembled holding a pencil, even though I forgot how to write the alphabets. I could not feel.

It's still a situation I doubt I can handle. But as I looked up to the mute lady who came up to me trying to sell her keychains to earn an honest living, or the dude in a wheelchair who confidently maneuvered up and down the escalators like tony hawk on a skateboard, I think having a little faith in someone or something should be a wise place to start when you keep running away.

I always ran away. Maybe it's time to run the opposite direction.

*******

just got amazing news about a friend. life works in mysterious ways. karma is awesome, because good things happen to good people.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

You Again

during deepavali lunch, a close friend of mine saw my sister's wedding picture standing at the corner of the hall, to which she commented:

she: wow. you're sis never change!

me: what do you mean? *i didn't realize she saw the pic*

she: since she got married till now, she still look the same.

me: oh okay. she'll be very happy you said that :D

to which i conveyed the message to my mother since sis was out.

me: mom. she says anita never age.

mom: what?

she: your daughter. look the same from her wedding day till now. her skin so nice.

*mom just smiles*

she: your daughter's skin like glowing. so radiant.

mom: well she doesn't use any products. it's in the genes! *laughs*

friend then turns to me,

she: actually you also have it.

me: oh no. mine is all product :)

*******

i've finally got to cleaning up my stuff at home.

really backdated stuff from highschool.

stuff from 7years ago?

from my study table, study books, to all my clothes.

notes from school,

random notes,

cards,

resume for MAS,

bad pictures,

public speaking speech.

most have gone to the garbage bin.

can't hold on to the past for too long eh?

i want my colourful life,

away from the faded past.

I'll Be Your Rockstar

i went to the doctors again yesterday because my tonsils are still irritating me. the usual doc wasn't in, think he went for festive holidays already. instead it was a lady doctor with an english accent. maybe she studied abroad? the conversation:

she: so what's the problem?

me: i had tonsils few days ago, it's gone down, but it's still irritating.

she: let's have a look.

*opens mouth*

she: well it's going down. not much i can do. should be back to normal in a few days. just a matter of time. i can't give you antibiotics.

me: but it's the festive season. i wanna be ok.

she: a bit too late for that :)

me: it's the festive season.

she: well stay away from spicy and oily food. like briyani, curry, muruku...

me: yea i'll stick to white rice this year.

she: *eyes wide open* yes. white rice. maybe some soup?

me: not part of the menu, but i'll see what mom can do *squints eyes* ... maybe some lozanges will help? since i'm already here. it gets hard to talk. there's phlegm when i speak. sometimes it's hard to finish a sentence. the throat is irritating me.

she: then don't talk *smiles*

me: (i didn't see that medical advice coming my way) i can't. it's part of my job. it's just very scratchy.

she: rockstar. maybe you're on your way to being a rockstar.

me *one eyebrow raised*

she: scratchy voice. husky. maybe you could be rod stewart. or are you too young to know who rod stewart is?

me: i know who he is.

am i not suppose to know who rod stewart is? or do i look like i just came out of highschool? hmmmm... but for the love of God. me singing? i cannot hold a note to save the queen of england and you think i can be a rockstar? that's too nice bordering sarcasm :P

*******

the other day while walking to the aircraft,

one of the crew asked me,

"besides your name, which part of you is indian?"

after thinking for a sufficient time,

trying to be the least crude,

i replied while lifting my pants,

"i've got hairy legs?"

then she stormed off while yelling,

"euwww. sharman. not this early in the morning.

damn disgusting."

i stress again,

i tried to be the least crude :P

happy deepavali everyone!

wishing you good food, good times,

and all good things!

Chasing Sunsets

it's been quite a downer of a week. my watch strap has broken. now, the seconds needle has come loose. i don't want to get a new one because i love it. it was a present. too much value to be left forgotten. gotta get it fixed asap.

and to my horror, i dropped my love. not my car, of course. i can't possibly drop my car. my other love, my bb. now it's got a little crack at the top. my heart is shattered.

the other day, i forgot my airport pass when i went to work. luckily it was in my car. but you know, the carpark isn't exactly nearby. already the mighty sun was scorching, by the time i reached the office again, i looked and felt like i just came out the sauna.

i haven't been to the gym in ages. this belly isn't going away by itself, sharman. reason? carry on reading.

i had three days off which i spent wailing and still wailing from my omnipresent tonsilitis. i could barely speak at one point because it was so irritant. i couldn't fly because it was inflamed till my ears were blocked. i never got it this bad. yes, i'm considering getting it removed. does company insurance cover? hmmm...

that's a lot of whining. now, something to look forward to. annual leave starting the 4th. home, here i come. if i hadn't been to the gym in ages, well then i haven't been back in jb for decades. i miss home. deepavali with the family.

in the words of destiny's child, to spend some quality t-i-m-e.

i have this obsession. i think the sunsets i get to see, are amazing. it's quite a different view from up there. it feels like you're chasing it. but you're never getting there. everytime it's a game of despair. but i never give up. coz i know if i give up, it'll be the end of me. a pointless journey. for i always think of what could be. what if one day, i do catch up with the sunset as crazy as it sounds? what if one day everything falls into place? no more questions left unanswered? what if.

*******

in aviation telephony/pilot language,

"roger" basically means understand.

i don't know how the term came up,

i don't wanna know,

because it's a term i was taught not to use.

it's just a little too vague of a reply.

inconclusive.

anyway,

in india,

when you communicate with the air traffic controller,

they love to reply you with a "roger".

except,

it sounds more like a "raj".

silent "er" i guess?

it's a lame joke,

but everytime i get that,

i'd think,

"i'm no raj. i'm sharman"

so i literally laughed my ass off,

when the captain turned to me and said,

"who the **** is raj?!"

sheepishly.