the other day i went back to highschool to get my result's cert. it had been more than a year since i went back there.
the cert has become insignificant in my life. i don't think i will need it, due to the fact i'm bonded for quite some time, and i'm not complaining about it. and also i don't think anyone would wanna see it. its not attractive.
the irony of returning to school was, i used to hate school. and i'm sure many would vouch for that too. the waking up early, homework, uniform etc etc...
not that its much different now, except the uniform :P
as much as i hated highschool back then, i missed it now.
and i'll miss home even more tomorrow.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Waiting
i've been sitting here surfing the net, flipping through channels to get good music, but to no avail. it happens very often, when you don't get the control of the remote, there's so much on the tube, but when you do actually get the control, there's nothing worth a cent to watch or listen.
so i do the wisest and economical thing, i switch it off, coz the electricity bill needs to be paid every end-of-the-month time.
sometimes i don't give up so easily. i wait for something good to come on, like how i used to wait for the ice cream man.
eager. hopeful. with a whole lot of anticipation.
but the despair and heartache that comes when he doesn't show up, especially if you've saved your school money and waited the whole afternoon for him, is sadder than the tears of a clown.
its like cloud 9 turning to dark clouds. you're lucky charm rusting in the rain.
i know they say good things happen to those who wait, but exactly how do i know for which do i wait upon? its hard to give up waiting if there is some sense of reciprocation, but its also a harder fall if waiting leads you to a dead-end.
i'm not saying i don't wait, but when do we stop from becoming humty dumty?
so i do the wisest and economical thing, i switch it off, coz the electricity bill needs to be paid every end-of-the-month time.
sometimes i don't give up so easily. i wait for something good to come on, like how i used to wait for the ice cream man.
eager. hopeful. with a whole lot of anticipation.
but the despair and heartache that comes when he doesn't show up, especially if you've saved your school money and waited the whole afternoon for him, is sadder than the tears of a clown.
its like cloud 9 turning to dark clouds. you're lucky charm rusting in the rain.
i know they say good things happen to those who wait, but exactly how do i know for which do i wait upon? its hard to give up waiting if there is some sense of reciprocation, but its also a harder fall if waiting leads you to a dead-end.
i'm not saying i don't wait, but when do we stop from becoming humty dumty?
The Ball Is Round
and we are never satisfied. we try to think we are, but we're not. there's always that voice under the havoc, wanting for more. taunting you.
we look for flaws, and we pick on it to live. the tiny crack on the wall, the obscure scratch on the handphone, the way you walk and talk. we refuse to accept the fact that something could be perfect if some aspects of it were ignored, so we thrive to find flaws and mistakes and divulge in it to bring yourself some sense of satisfaction.
but at the end of the day, you're never satisfied. the thing you thought was perfect, in the end is not and we're back to square one. unsatisfied, and probably depressed too.
hmmmm... maybe i'm just thinking too much.
we look for flaws, and we pick on it to live. the tiny crack on the wall, the obscure scratch on the handphone, the way you walk and talk. we refuse to accept the fact that something could be perfect if some aspects of it were ignored, so we thrive to find flaws and mistakes and divulge in it to bring yourself some sense of satisfaction.
but at the end of the day, you're never satisfied. the thing you thought was perfect, in the end is not and we're back to square one. unsatisfied, and probably depressed too.
hmmmm... maybe i'm just thinking too much.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Sweet Dreams
i have been trying to catch up with the silver screen the past few days. i thought this time around i could catch the incredible hulk in theaters, but unfortunately i had run out of luck. they stopped playing it the day i came back. dang!
and there's been so much rave and good feedback, and i had a lotta anticipation for this new hulk movie. sadly couldn't watch it, looks like its gonna be the dvds.
however i did catch The Dark Knight which was just superb. it lasted like 2.5hours, but it was so damn blardy gewd! the joker was psychotically entertaining. heath really made a good joker, why did he have to die? and there was a special guest appearance by two face, which was really unexpected but i couldn't complained! everything was just good in it. except i really felt i needed to pee hahaha
and christian bale, does he have a short tongue?
i watched Wanted to. the storyline was not so good, but it was a good past time. angelina jolie was hot! i never really thought she was cun, but the first scene she enters with the white dress, she made good of the druggy look. seriously, you might wanna just watch the movie because of her.
internet at home is having some problems, else i would have put up some pics.
anyways, the other night IvanTheTerrible wished me good night, and like a good person i replied "good night. sweet dreams".
ITT: noooooo. i don't want dreams anymoreee...
me: why?
ITT: because i get lost in the dream. i don't want to dream anymore...
hahahaha gosh. really took me by surprised. must have had a nightmare in a maze or something i guess.
before i go, thought i'd share this saying i read, though you people out there are gonna call me a drunkard, but i think its worth sharing (since i'm such a nice person):
"alcohol is the answer. but i don't remember the question".
-outz-
and there's been so much rave and good feedback, and i had a lotta anticipation for this new hulk movie. sadly couldn't watch it, looks like its gonna be the dvds.
however i did catch The Dark Knight which was just superb. it lasted like 2.5hours, but it was so damn blardy gewd! the joker was psychotically entertaining. heath really made a good joker, why did he have to die? and there was a special guest appearance by two face, which was really unexpected but i couldn't complained! everything was just good in it. except i really felt i needed to pee hahaha
and christian bale, does he have a short tongue?
i watched Wanted to. the storyline was not so good, but it was a good past time. angelina jolie was hot! i never really thought she was cun, but the first scene she enters with the white dress, she made good of the druggy look. seriously, you might wanna just watch the movie because of her.
internet at home is having some problems, else i would have put up some pics.
anyways, the other night IvanTheTerrible wished me good night, and like a good person i replied "good night. sweet dreams".
ITT: noooooo. i don't want dreams anymoreee...
me: why?
ITT: because i get lost in the dream. i don't want to dream anymore...
hahahaha gosh. really took me by surprised. must have had a nightmare in a maze or something i guess.
before i go, thought i'd share this saying i read, though you people out there are gonna call me a drunkard, but i think its worth sharing (since i'm such a nice person):
"alcohol is the answer. but i don't remember the question".
-outz-
Thursday, July 10, 2008
At The Warung
time to play the "count the backstabbers" game again. 'yay'.
him: ais kosong satu.
she: apa?
him: AIS KOSONG SATU.
she: HAH?!
him: AIS KOSONG!
she: AIR KOTOR?!!
him: ais kosong satu.
she: apa?
him: AIS KOSONG SATU.
she: HAH?!
him: AIS KOSONG!
she: AIR KOTOR?!!
Monday, July 07, 2008
Getting There
lookout. there's a new guy in the sky. APAC 1168 is officially online so look up!
i finally went on my first solo flight today. and it was simply amazing.
running up to today, i was more worried about my solo check than the solo itself. 'solo check' is basically a test where we do take-off and landings above the aerodrome, and the instructor will decide whether or not to clear the student and send him for solo.
so yesterday i saw my instructor, and he's all happy and just tells me 'well tomorrow morning just make sure you shave, shower, and shit. remember those 3 things!'
he is quite unpredictable la basically.
anyways during my solo check i screwed up quite a bit. really dumb stupid atrociously silly mistakes, like not maintaing height/speed/power. and boy i thought i wasn't gonna pass the check.
thank God my landings made up for that. prior to this, my landings used to be horrible. once, in the early stages of learning how to land, my instructor yelled, "are you trying to kill all 3 of us in the plane?!"
it was NOT funny.
surprisingly, even to myself, my landings today was good. i didn't baloon, landing wasn't hard, or even out of control (which usually IS the case).
so he cleared me for solo, but not before a few questions:
him: can you MAINTAIN yr height and speed and power?
me: yes sir.
him: are you SURE?!
me: yes sir.
him: are you confident?
me: yes sir.
him: ok, i'm clearing you for solo. do your pre take off checks and don't forget to...
it was more than just music to my ears. it was unbelieveable. and i started to fumble with my checks. always rechecking if the fuel pump was on, lights on, fuel correct tank, etc etc..
finally i said:
"kota baru ground, APAC 09Siera ready for taxi", and there was no turning back. i started to freak out. taking off isn't so hard, landing is the worry. as they say, "taking off is optional, landing is not".
then i lined up, did my checks, got clearance for take off, advanced to 2000RPM let go of the brakes, and advanced to full throttle.
so far so good.
40 kts. 45 kts. increasing rather slowly.
and i checked my rpm, and it was stuck at 2100, when in fact it should have been somewhere around 2600.
should i freaking abort? THINK THINK THINK SHARMAN!
so i did what an engineer once did, reduce power a little and advanced it back to full power. luckily it worked and the power increased steadily. reached 65kts and i rotated. maintained an attitude for 80kts, trimmed the aircraft, and carried on as usual.
i don't know why but my speed was too high, or i was gaining height, which i started to freak out coz i was suppose to start descending soon, even though my power settings were normal for cruise.
luckily i made some adjustments along the way, reached finals at the correct height, maintained my rate of descent and speed, which was the most important thing. staying on centreline wasn't so difficult with the light winds.
everything went well. i reached above the runway threshold, pulled back on the control collumn to straighten the aircraft then cut power. and the aircraft didnt balloon! to my amazement! ballooning is when you increase the aircraft's nose too high that it starts gaining height, and you do not want it to happen.
flared out nicely and the aircraft just sinked so smoothly on the runway. it lost height, wings were level, and slowly just touched the runway with the main wheels and then i lowered the nose wheel to get all 3 wheels back on solid ground. best ever landing i had ever done. it was amazing. i couldn't believe i did it.
i did not kill myself, or even damage the aircraft. i friggin flew a plane by myself, and landed it all alone. my instructor thought me well :D i friggin landed the aircraft!
during lunch he came over and congratulated me on my first solo. he smiled. it was satisfying to know i didn't disappoint him, like how i usually do.
sometimes its not hard to feel tiny in this massive industry. it still freaks me out that i'm actually here. it feels like its too big for me. more than i can grasp. but today just proved to me how in love i am with the industry when you actually realize with time and guidance, you can do it. may take a lil longer, but its worth the wait.
its really hard to put in words what i'm feeling. its like that itch that you just can't seem to scratch. the smirk you can't seem to wipe off. you just have to experience it yourself to know what's it all about.
might not be about landing an aircraft for you, but there's just something in your life that's gonna leave a psychotic smile on your face. and when you do find it, you just wanna live off it and suck all of its every tiny essence of euphoria it has.
for me, i'm more-than-words-can-describe happy that today went so well. it wasn't perfect, but it was perfect to me. and you know what?
i live another day to do it again and again and again..
signing out,
APAC 1168.
i finally went on my first solo flight today. and it was simply amazing.
running up to today, i was more worried about my solo check than the solo itself. 'solo check' is basically a test where we do take-off and landings above the aerodrome, and the instructor will decide whether or not to clear the student and send him for solo.
so yesterday i saw my instructor, and he's all happy and just tells me 'well tomorrow morning just make sure you shave, shower, and shit. remember those 3 things!'
he is quite unpredictable la basically.
anyways during my solo check i screwed up quite a bit. really dumb stupid atrociously silly mistakes, like not maintaing height/speed/power. and boy i thought i wasn't gonna pass the check.
thank God my landings made up for that. prior to this, my landings used to be horrible. once, in the early stages of learning how to land, my instructor yelled, "are you trying to kill all 3 of us in the plane?!"
it was NOT funny.
surprisingly, even to myself, my landings today was good. i didn't baloon, landing wasn't hard, or even out of control (which usually IS the case).
so he cleared me for solo, but not before a few questions:
him: can you MAINTAIN yr height and speed and power?
me: yes sir.
him: are you SURE?!
me: yes sir.
him: are you confident?
me: yes sir.
him: ok, i'm clearing you for solo. do your pre take off checks and don't forget to...
it was more than just music to my ears. it was unbelieveable. and i started to fumble with my checks. always rechecking if the fuel pump was on, lights on, fuel correct tank, etc etc..
finally i said:
"kota baru ground, APAC 09Siera ready for taxi", and there was no turning back. i started to freak out. taking off isn't so hard, landing is the worry. as they say, "taking off is optional, landing is not".
then i lined up, did my checks, got clearance for take off, advanced to 2000RPM let go of the brakes, and advanced to full throttle.
so far so good.
40 kts. 45 kts. increasing rather slowly.
and i checked my rpm, and it was stuck at 2100, when in fact it should have been somewhere around 2600.
should i freaking abort? THINK THINK THINK SHARMAN!
so i did what an engineer once did, reduce power a little and advanced it back to full power. luckily it worked and the power increased steadily. reached 65kts and i rotated. maintained an attitude for 80kts, trimmed the aircraft, and carried on as usual.
i don't know why but my speed was too high, or i was gaining height, which i started to freak out coz i was suppose to start descending soon, even though my power settings were normal for cruise.
luckily i made some adjustments along the way, reached finals at the correct height, maintained my rate of descent and speed, which was the most important thing. staying on centreline wasn't so difficult with the light winds.
everything went well. i reached above the runway threshold, pulled back on the control collumn to straighten the aircraft then cut power. and the aircraft didnt balloon! to my amazement! ballooning is when you increase the aircraft's nose too high that it starts gaining height, and you do not want it to happen.
flared out nicely and the aircraft just sinked so smoothly on the runway. it lost height, wings were level, and slowly just touched the runway with the main wheels and then i lowered the nose wheel to get all 3 wheels back on solid ground. best ever landing i had ever done. it was amazing. i couldn't believe i did it.
i did not kill myself, or even damage the aircraft. i friggin flew a plane by myself, and landed it all alone. my instructor thought me well :D i friggin landed the aircraft!
during lunch he came over and congratulated me on my first solo. he smiled. it was satisfying to know i didn't disappoint him, like how i usually do.
sometimes its not hard to feel tiny in this massive industry. it still freaks me out that i'm actually here. it feels like its too big for me. more than i can grasp. but today just proved to me how in love i am with the industry when you actually realize with time and guidance, you can do it. may take a lil longer, but its worth the wait.
its really hard to put in words what i'm feeling. its like that itch that you just can't seem to scratch. the smirk you can't seem to wipe off. you just have to experience it yourself to know what's it all about.
might not be about landing an aircraft for you, but there's just something in your life that's gonna leave a psychotic smile on your face. and when you do find it, you just wanna live off it and suck all of its every tiny essence of euphoria it has.
for me, i'm more-than-words-can-describe happy that today went so well. it wasn't perfect, but it was perfect to me. and you know what?
i live another day to do it again and again and again..
signing out,
APAC 1168.
- The difficult takes time, the impossible just takes a little longer -
Saturday, July 05, 2008
They Grow Up
they really do.
i have this cousin who's in secondary school. he's not the very outspoken, noisy type. he's actually pretty quiet. especially recently.
and though its freaky, but i think i know why.
he's got a gf.
no susbstantial proof YET. but he types these weird personal messages on his msn like "i miss you, i love", "when will u b back?", "thx for forgiving me" "i LOVE you" etc etc...
and though its perfectly normal, but its just odd to see someone so opposite of who i thought they were. (pls don't co-relate this with me)
as they say "diam diam ubi berisi".
ok i realized that wasn't very weird, but i have this niece who's like 9y'old. she's very barbie-girl who thinks she grew up in OC, but actually lives in KL, ya know what i mean?
love her coz actually she's proud 2 be a KL-ean, but sometimes she freaks me out with the stuff she says.
since kindergarden she's had this enemy, C. and recently my niece was 'dating this guy' who she says is 'ugly and dumb'. very curious as to why she would do something like date someone who's ugly coz she worries bout looks a lot you know?
so i asked, then i found out she stole C's bf.
i seriously don't know what's going on with their lives.
but they are freaking me out. they are growing up too much at too fast of a speed!
she's NINE. omg NINE!
it couldn't have been pure creative story telling on her part, right? then again, with Mtv, OC, OneTreeHill and the works, it gives me something to ponder about...
" Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam besi berkarat "
i have this cousin who's in secondary school. he's not the very outspoken, noisy type. he's actually pretty quiet. especially recently.
and though its freaky, but i think i know why.
he's got a gf.
no susbstantial proof YET. but he types these weird personal messages on his msn like "i miss you, i love", "when will u b back?", "thx for forgiving me" "i LOVE you" etc etc...
and though its perfectly normal, but its just odd to see someone so opposite of who i thought they were. (pls don't co-relate this with me)
as they say "diam diam ubi berisi".
ok i realized that wasn't very weird, but i have this niece who's like 9y'old. she's very barbie-girl who thinks she grew up in OC, but actually lives in KL, ya know what i mean?
love her coz actually she's proud 2 be a KL-ean, but sometimes she freaks me out with the stuff she says.
since kindergarden she's had this enemy, C. and recently my niece was 'dating this guy' who she says is 'ugly and dumb'. very curious as to why she would do something like date someone who's ugly coz she worries bout looks a lot you know?
so i asked, then i found out she stole C's bf.
i seriously don't know what's going on with their lives.
but they are freaking me out. they are growing up too much at too fast of a speed!
she's NINE. omg NINE!
it couldn't have been pure creative story telling on her part, right? then again, with Mtv, OC, OneTreeHill and the works, it gives me something to ponder about...
" Diam-diam ubi berisi, diam-diam besi berkarat "
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