Faded Mess

Certain events in life, never go forgotten. It leaves an impression. An impression that sometimes gets you gasping for air.

The mistakes in daily routines do not apply. It's those uncomfortable situations that have a haunting effect. How do you react to a situation that's foreign from your day-to-day self, that's unheard of in your texts you've been trained to battle? Some of us aren't lucky to get it right first time around.

Some of us get situations without any right solutions at all.

We're left feeling cornered, unaccustomed to this tiny space and alienated. There is no lifeline, because there is no right answer. We start to gasp, choking on our own breaths and saliva. You start feeling cold, palms pale, your fingers tremble. What do you do? You look for someone to make sense of it all.

But you're alone. It's just you against all these uninvited guest into your sanctuary.

"Toughen up". You avoid this eclipse by building this wall, creating this persona of a being so far off from your true self, this persona is a lifeless body with a beating heart and a pair of lungs. Foolishly, this works. You wait till it's safe to come out again, till you convince yourself you will never be put in that same corner ever again.

But it happens again, like a nightmare every fortnight, or even year after year. You detach yourself into this solitude state, because you feel safe living without a voice, heart, or soul.

No one else will understand. I never asked you to.


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