i had a little not-so-friendly charade all acted out in my mind. there were significant reasons for me to scheme this plan out, unfortunately the mind fizzled out when the curtains came up for me to take the stage.
i was distracted.
i was caught off guard. thus, everything just shattered. every cruel intentions i had, no longer are applicable. because i had to be ignorant for it to be applied. after tonight, i had given someone dignity of some sort which they don't deserve. i had given them the truth of the grapevine and hence now i have to behave normally towards them.
i was distracted.
but who cares. i was distracted because of bali baby! wheeeeeeee!!!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Faded Mess
Certain events in life, never go forgotten. It leaves an impression. An impression that sometimes gets you gasping for air.
The mistakes in daily routines do not apply. It's those uncomfortable situations that have a haunting effect. How do you react to a situation that's foreign from your day-to-day self, that's unheard of in your texts you've been trained to battle? Some of us aren't lucky to get it right first time around.
Some of us get situations without any right solutions at all.
We're left feeling cornered, unaccustomed to this tiny space and alienated. There is no lifeline, because there is no right answer. We start to gasp, choking on our own breaths and saliva. You start feeling cold, palms pale, your fingers tremble. What do you do? You look for someone to make sense of it all.
But you're alone. It's just you against all these uninvited guest into your sanctuary.
"Toughen up". You avoid this eclipse by building this wall, creating this persona of a being so far off from your true self, this persona is a lifeless body with a beating heart and a pair of lungs. Foolishly, this works. You wait till it's safe to come out again, till you convince yourself you will never be put in that same corner ever again.
But it happens again, like a nightmare every fortnight, or even year after year. You detach yourself into this solitude state, because you feel safe living without a voice, heart, or soul.
No one else will understand. I never asked you to.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
The mistakes in daily routines do not apply. It's those uncomfortable situations that have a haunting effect. How do you react to a situation that's foreign from your day-to-day self, that's unheard of in your texts you've been trained to battle? Some of us aren't lucky to get it right first time around.
Some of us get situations without any right solutions at all.
We're left feeling cornered, unaccustomed to this tiny space and alienated. There is no lifeline, because there is no right answer. We start to gasp, choking on our own breaths and saliva. You start feeling cold, palms pale, your fingers tremble. What do you do? You look for someone to make sense of it all.
But you're alone. It's just you against all these uninvited guest into your sanctuary.
"Toughen up". You avoid this eclipse by building this wall, creating this persona of a being so far off from your true self, this persona is a lifeless body with a beating heart and a pair of lungs. Foolishly, this works. You wait till it's safe to come out again, till you convince yourself you will never be put in that same corner ever again.
But it happens again, like a nightmare every fortnight, or even year after year. You detach yourself into this solitude state, because you feel safe living without a voice, heart, or soul.
No one else will understand. I never asked you to.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Bread, Butter And A Cup Of Tea
That's my dinner. I'm so hungry, I've got no appetite. I'm feeling under the weather radar.
Oh yes I'm in my sick mood. And as usual, I become extraordinarily hungry when I'm sick but since there's no one to cook for me hence this will make do but I don't mind, eat your dinner like a pauper they say!
I'm am more annoyed by the fact that my biggest dream now is to sneeze so hard and fulfilling that I'd be so satisfied till this itch of wanting to sneeze will be gone forever.
Maybe I should remove my tonsils. It started with that. Does insurance cover that???
Well positive thoughts, at least my nose didn't leak through the sim session. Jen, I only took one pill, because said pill makes me quite zoned out. Thank you all happy people for your wishes!
Seriously, I need to sneeze more satisfyingly till it doesn't itch anymore, till my stomach giggles so hard from the after effect. This life feels so incomplete without that sneeze.
On the random-est note, one way to confirm to get lost finding your way, is to have the wrong address. My 2cents worth. Good night y'all!
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
Oh yes I'm in my sick mood. And as usual, I become extraordinarily hungry when I'm sick but since there's no one to cook for me hence this will make do but I don't mind, eat your dinner like a pauper they say!
I'm am more annoyed by the fact that my biggest dream now is to sneeze so hard and fulfilling that I'd be so satisfied till this itch of wanting to sneeze will be gone forever.
Maybe I should remove my tonsils. It started with that. Does insurance cover that???
Well positive thoughts, at least my nose didn't leak through the sim session. Jen, I only took one pill, because said pill makes me quite zoned out. Thank you all happy people for your wishes!
Seriously, I need to sneeze more satisfyingly till it doesn't itch anymore, till my stomach giggles so hard from the after effect. This life feels so incomplete without that sneeze.
On the random-est note, one way to confirm to get lost finding your way, is to have the wrong address. My 2cents worth. Good night y'all!
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
Saturday, June 12, 2010
My Mom's Cooler Than Yours
flew to calcutta few weeks back. it was my first indian destination. there wasn't anything historic about it, except it being my first time into india.
oh wait. there were stories. just not those i can share so openly :D
the time difference was interesting. okay, it's only two and half hours difference, not like those of you who've been to europe/america/australia but let me blab anyways. it was quite odd because on the way back to kl, it was 8+pm and yet bright as hell. we were somewhere near myanmar at that time, running away from the sun, flying into the sunset. my stomach was rumbling for dinner, but my mind couldn't fathom the bright sun.
lesson learnt, when in doubt, trust your tummy!
*******
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment. "
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends".
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment. "
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends".
- wanna guess who sent me this email? -
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