Monday, December 03, 2007

If I Was A Doctor

what kind of doctor would i be? i seriously thought i'd be a vet, never a doctor. but apparently i have the face of a penis specialist. if there's anything of such.

last weekend i was in a supermarket in kb town, minding my own business in the drinks section.


there was this old chinese man, working there, stacking up the pile of multicoloured bottles and cans. there was no one else in the alley, and suddenly he turns to me and our conversation awkwardly begins.

(conversation originally in malay)

ocm (old chinese man): u malay?

me: no. indian.

ocm: from india?

me: (gosh how shallow minded) nooooo. from johor bahru. i come here to study.

ocm: ooo... u don't look indian. u mix? mother chinese?

me: ermm... ya.

ocm: you can speak chinese?

me: no not really. very little. very bad.

then he starts giving me, yet again "i've heard it before" lecture, how important we should know our mother tongue. mandrin very important. go anywhere, english and mandrin most important. not malay. bla de bla de bla bla...

hence continues the conversation in mandrin. whoever who knows me can imagine how horrible my mandrin was. i could understand. but omg my replies were so friggin limited mannnn.

and oh yea after the lecture, he suddenly remembers i'm a student...

ocm: so where u studying?

me: usm.

the usm campus here is the medical faculty. just for the fun of it, my friends and i like to say we're from there. no reason. konon mysterious laaa...

ocm: ooooo so u gonna be a doctor?

me: erm yeaaa *and gleams*


ocm: can i ask u one question?

me: yea sure... (thought i was dead la he gonna ask me some medical Q)

ocm: do u have to go for operation or got medicine to make it longer and stronger?

remember. this is all going on in mandrin. i seriously tried not to laugh, but this poor man was so serious! so...

me: *honestly* i dont know.

ocm: isnt there medicine?

me: *laughs* got la, but no guarantee.

ocm: you know where to do or get medicine? now people here all have to go thailand. if you can do here, i assure u, u will be rich! i can bring u customer. a lot of ppl want to do, but too ma fan to go thailand. seriously, u do this, u rich. i know a lot of ppl.

me: *laughs some more* dont know la. never learn yet...

ocm: but really, got operation? or medicine?

(then he takes this drink. its VITA or something like that. its kiwi juice in a glass bottle, diametre pretty big)

ocm: *grips the bottle ala ...* like this. strong and long. then only women satisfied.

(at this point, i felt sorry but couldnt stop laughing at the man laaa)

ocm: you find out more can? then next time i bring u customer. a lot of ppl in kb i know want to do. sure good business!

me: sorry uncle. have to go ready. *still laughing*

ocm: oh ok ok. u find our more la. next time tell me what u find out. see u again!


so atta, what is your opinion?


dont know when i'm gonna go back there man.


Dilah said...


zomg i cant stop laughing. =))))))

seriously, i think i was dead innocent coz i din know wat the heck ocm was talking abt IT.

until i read the "longer and stronger" part. hahahha!!

dirty old fellow.

Anyway, its not the guy's tool size that matters a lot lar.., according to some surveys. It's more of the guy's effort into the whole sex sct.

but hey, diff women/men, diff preferences. watever rocks their bed =PPP

last word of advice: dont ever go back there! he'll prolly bring his customers to the uh.."penis specialist"...ahhahahahahahh

AdrenaLynn said...

WTF sia...hahahha!!! I wonder if Urologists actually delve into such ..hmm operations or make it last longer N stronger!! haha!!!

Tell that OCM.. the key is FOREPLAY!!! Satisfying a woman starts way before the actual act lah!!! Well unless ah..he ain't really planning on women lah...hahahha!!

Well ...esle u can let him noe there's always viagra for lil old wrinkly floppy there...hahaha.

Maybe you should start distributing those..make some money on the side eh??

TKDaddict said...

hahaha...what u want my opinion on lah ?

"Well unless ah..he ain't really planning on women lah." --yuuuuuckssss!!!!!

sharman said...

dilah: yea kinda frighten to go back to the store la... skali he keep haunting for suggestions...i prolly die of laughter laaaa

lynn: i hv no idea if he's senget or straight la... but gosh thx for the advice?

mayb viagra wud work la, but the longer part? maybe he shud go see those bomoh guys or get those preserved bull's penis hahahaha

tkd: well ur the one studyin medic rite...mayb u shud specialize in this... kb make u rich wei!

TKDaddict said...

sorry weeei, even if it makes me rich i dont think i wanna stare at ppls penis day in and day out...
he must have a really small one though since he thinks its so inadequate :P haha

sharman said...

hahaha good point...but in case any of yr frens got problem paying their loans, well they got it solved now la heheheh

i guess its because he's old la. he cant perform so he tryin to make it up with the size haahahaha

Sashillia said...

hahaahahahhaaa. interesting things seem to happen in KB huh sharman?

sharman said...

well better than THAT occurence in jb laaaa..