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i swear.


i think im gonna become effing racist.




you friggin arseholes. chopped off dicks.



sorry if anyone offended. it isnt u.

If This Continues...

i'd probably crack my balls and go infertile.






futsal, i mean.

If I Was A Doctor

what kind of doctor would i be? i seriously thought i'd be a vet, never a doctor. but apparently i have the face of a penis specialist. if there's anything of such.


last weekend i was in a supermarket in kb town, minding my own business in the drinks section.

DRINKS AS IN CORDIAL AND CANNED AND FIZZY DRINKS!

there was this old chinese man, working there, stacking up the pile of multicoloured bottles and cans. there was no one else in the alley, and suddenly he turns to me and our conversation awkwardly begins.

(conversation originally in malay)

ocm (old chinese man): u malay?

me: no. indian.

ocm: from india?

me: (gosh how shallow minded) nooooo. from johor bahru. i come here to study.

ocm: ooo... u don't look indian. u mix? mother chinese?

me: ermm... ya.

ocm: you can speak chinese?

me: no not really. very little. very bad.

then he starts giving me, yet again "i've heard it before" lecture, how important we should know our mother tongue. mandrin very important. go anywhere, english and mandrin most important. not malay. bla de bla de bla bla...

hence continues the conversation in mandrin. whoever who knows me can imagine how horrible my mandrin was. i could understand. but omg my replies were so friggin limited mannnn.

and oh yea after the lecture, he suddenly remembers i'm a student...

ocm: so where u studying?

me: usm.

the usm campus here is the medical faculty. just for the fun of it, my friends and i like to say we're from there. no reason. konon mysterious laaa...

ocm: ooooo so u gonna be a doctor?

me: erm yeaaa *and gleams*

THEN HE GOES QUIET AND HUSHES OUT...

ocm: can i ask u one question?

me: yea sure... (thought i was dead la he gonna ask me some medical Q)

ocm: do u have to go for operation or got medicine to make it longer and stronger?

remember. this is all going on in mandrin. i seriously tried not to laugh, but this poor man was so serious! so...

me: *honestly* i dont know.

ocm: isnt there medicine?

me: *laughs* got la, but no guarantee.

ocm: you know where to do or get medicine? now people here all have to go thailand. if you can do here, i assure u, u will be rich! i can bring u customer. a lot of ppl want to do, but too ma fan to go thailand. seriously, u do this, u rich. i know a lot of ppl.

me: *laughs some more* dont know la. never learn yet...

ocm: but really, got operation? or medicine?

(then he takes this drink. its VITA or something like that. its kiwi juice in a glass bottle, diametre pretty big)

ocm: *grips the bottle ala ...* like this. strong and long. then only women satisfied.

(at this point, i felt sorry but couldnt stop laughing at the man laaa)

ocm: you find out more can? then next time i bring u customer. a lot of ppl in kb i know want to do. sure good business!

me: sorry uncle. have to go ready. *still laughing*

ocm: oh ok ok. u find our more la. next time tell me what u find out. see u again!


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so atta, what is your opinion?

lol.


dont know when i'm gonna go back there man.