Overheard At 30-Odd Thousand Feet

pilots have manners in the air. it's common to hear when flying through different countries' airspace to give a greeting like good morning/good afternoon/selamat siang/sawadeekrub when entering boundaries. i guess it's a little impolite to just barge into their airspace without a hello. this guy however, takes the cake for rudeness. 

when flying INTO kuala lumpur airspace a pilot calls to the air traffic controller:

aircraft: lumpur control, selamat datang! this is XXX.

it's like a stranger walks into your home, then welcomes you to your own place, claiming all your possessions.

maybe we should strictly stick to standard english phraseology. 

Cockpit Conversations

Capt: you think we can go for flight or not?

Me: i don't think so.

Capt: i go back early also no point. my wife not here.

Me: where she went? holiday?

Capt: my wife went back to see her mother.

Me: oh okay.





Me: then we go search for you new wife la!

Capt: waaaah you sangat pandai ah!!! mau saya tinggal seorang seorang. you tau i sudah tua lagi mau saya cari wife baru. nanti my wife halau me!

Overheard At 30-odd Thousand Feet

aircraft xxx: singapore radar, xxx radio check?

controller: say again aircraft calling?

aircraft xxx: radar, xxx radio check?

controller: xxx loud and clear.

aircraft xxx: oookay. just checking. very quiet here.

controller: okay, we can see you. you're still flying.

aircraft xxx: yea we hope so!

*******

i have come to a point, where i've somewhat resigned myself to fate. it's almost as if the case of giving your best yet your best isn't good enough. since good enough is subjective, as is many others aspects of life we will live to realize. if i was really not good enough, then i accept the fact. but if i was not good enough because you feel the need to feel empowered and belittle others, then this would be a heartbreak. such is life. nasty. so, i will try to take everything in it's stride, come what may, i'll come out of this taller.

if not already.

" In this life anything can hurt you,

Push you, then forget you,

Erase your history.

But I remember me, I remember me,

It don't matter where I go,

What I'm told,

Now you know.

I remember me, I remember me,

Even if I say goodbye,

Start to cry,

Do or die,

I remember me. "

- jennifer hudson "i remember me"-

A Touch Of Thought

i get that everyone has a right to an opinion. or opinions for the matter of fact. opinions, the lovechild of creativity and guts. or just a point to show you weren't sleeping through the boring lecture or class.

see the funny thing about opinions is, sometimes people get so contradicting with it. take this for an example. went someone asks me where do i work, or what do i do, i tell them, "i'm a pilot". they assume i'm a captain, and i correct them i'm not. my rank is so-and-so, my designation in the chain of food, i mean command, is co-pilot.

"oooo so you're a co-pilot", they go. "what do you do? since the captain flies the plane, you just sit there? fancy job".

then i explain the whole nature of my job, the task-sharing, and such, but they just end it off with "so you don't really fly the plane".

this is where i start my search for a noose. but God blessed me with perseverance, so i take a deep breath instead, and just smile. i smile a lot.

the flip side of people on the other hand, comes out to play when they experience an uncomfortable landing. a quick remark, "must be the co-pilot".

thank you. but point to note, we can land airplanes too.

*******

i don't really follow idol these days, but i do watch if i have the time. i think haley reinhart has improved the most this season. she's got an amazing voice, and she's starting to choose the right songs. i don't think the judges have been all fair on her performances. i wish she would win, but reason she won't win: i think she still lacks stage presence. ahhh but experience would cover that.

i think james screams too much, and it's unfair he going offtune just because he's emotional is forgiven and forgotten. we don't need another lambert. i can't even comprehend how you can call whatever scotty is doing as singing. and lauren is just mediocre. haley ftw? who am i kidding.

Bring It All Back To MFM

i have a little phobia flying to macau.

back during line training, i used to do many macau flights. well, suffice to say, it wasn't pleasant. i was new and still learning. it was training, and expectations were high. plus, it was waaaayyyy over there over the sea, and many borders later, far away from my comfort zone of malaysia, a new route, new procedures, and so foreign to me.

no matter how much preparation, i could not even slightly imagine what to expect for my first time there.

so when i was called to be an extra crew for a training flight to macau recently, i had all the flashbacks of when i was in training. it made me queasy. it reminded me of the sleepless nights, the unanswerable questions that i had perfectly logical explanations just prior to it being asked, and the confusion of simplest procedures. it was scary. i felt like i was under training again.

but there was also a very funny incident on my first flight to macau that i will never forget, and even sometimes laugh to myself when i think about it. see standard aviation language is english. the standardization is important so other aircrafts in the vicinity knows what's going on, or where they are and what they are doing. it builds situational awareness.

so the first time i entered china airspace, not only was i bewildered by their accent, but also by the fact that they spoke mandArin to each other. hell my mandArin sucks, but i know mandArin when i hear it!

i remembered turning to my captain with a confused face of a person akin to seeing flying pigs and commenting,

" they're speaking chinese?! "

he laughed. i did not.

well at least now i do. especially when i hear them say,

"radar kan tao le".

i always let out a little chuckle hearing them say that. east meets west.

*******

"no furniture was so charming as books,

someone famously said.

people simply buy more books than they can read.

in the same breath,

humankind writes more than it can read. "

-something i read in NST today-

Spread Some Jam

after twelve days of bumming, it was finally time to get back to work. reality check, and a rude awakening from this slumber, i wasn't ready to head back to work. but i had to.

who was gonna support me? :P

i must admit, i was a little apprehensive heading back to the office. after such a long hiatus, skills were becoming a bit rusty. thankfully, captain was understanding and helpful. eased me back to the flow and order of it all. certain things have changed though. like the weather has become notorious, and the airspace in kl has become pretty congested.

as we headed back to kl, flying in from the east towards the peninsula just before kuala terengganu, we're given information to slow down and cross a certain waypoint at a given time. i laughed at a thought.

my friends out of aviation usually ask, jokingly, "how's the traffic up there? got traffic jam or not?". i'm not sure what kind of answer they expect, but they are always stunned when i say it's crazy up there in the skies. it's too high in the sky for you to see what's going on, but if only you knew how busy it was. commercial aircrafts are huge, but up at 20-odd thousand feet, we are invisible in the sky.

just to be clear, there are no traffic lights or road blocks up there.

instead, our traffic jam works differently. either: one, we slow down (you can hear the engines calm down significantly), or two, we do holding patterns in the sky. nope not funky moves, holding patterns are race course tracks. so if you feel your aircraft is turning 180degress every minute, well then you know there's a "traffic jam". and this seems to be the norm of late coming into kl. might be because of the surprising weather these days.

or maybe my friends are just stunned that i'm so explanatory. can't help it. it's what i face everyday i go to work, and it's a huge deal to us and our stress levels. oh well. this is me.

*******

" you must be religious.

oh no not religious,

you're holy.

H-O-L-E-Y!

see the clouds spread apart for you,

like moses spreading the red sea,

you go between the legs,

always looking for hole.

i'm gonna tell your daddy,

you're so dirty minded.

don't want to fly with you again.

on ground look hole,

in the air also look hole (between clouds)!"

Don't Stop, Get It Get It

this month marks one year since i actually laid my ass in an actual A320 co-pilot seat. this day would be exactly a year and a week of me sitting on the right hand seat.

i do feel proud. i never expected or dreamed to reach this far. sometimes, it still feels out of this world. all the early part of your life you spent studying, and look forward to the day you're actually worth something to society, and not just a wasted sperm. here i am now, one year into it, and loving it.

this is the autopilot, dear readers.

we still have to "manipulate" it. it makes life easier,

but that doesn't mean it requires zero brains to work it ;)

i know i whine about going to work a helluva lot of times. but honestly, when i'm the seat, i do enjoy the work. i like it when i'm introduced in the announcements as the co-pilot. just to reaffirm that my existence counts, you know? and the uniform, in the words of will smith, "i make this look good". lmao.

it's no full-fledged airline, and we don't aim to be. a lot of things we do here, all the knowledge we learn and use, i do appreciate. i don't think i'd get this much exposure and experience anywhere else. maybe in future i'll get bored of it, but for now, i'm savouring it.

time flies, and i don't feel like it's been a year at all. but recounting back the experience, i do feel i've learnt a lot. just last week i encountered wake turbulence during landing from a fellow A320 aircraft. i never expected that.

a lot of people think that flying is like driving. you get the keys and head out. but our "job" looks easy because what many don't understand, is that a lot of the work is done on ground. we don't just take off and head to our destinations. weather, notices, aircraft performances, flight plans (routes and fuel) needs to checked and calculated. in the aircraft, certificates, safety equipment, cockpit checks will be carried out. and a whole lot of other things, i won't bore you with the details.

the thing is, i used to get frustrated when people say my job is so nice. yes it is. but don't give me a trying-to-be-tear-jerker story that your life sucks. you've had your opportunities, mine came a little later. while you enjoyed your life initially, i did not. it's the choices we make that make the difference. the things i've had to put up with, wasn't easy. as my cousin always says, nobody will know what you're going through except yourself. i've never shared them with you, doesn't mean it never happened. i opted this.

i've met a lot of people in recent times. most have so much to say negatively. while i appreciate their opinions and right to individualism, as such i hold back my own comments because i choose to be this individual instead, i think the root of the problem would be your outlook on life. we've got our priorities on odds i think. so now, i don't bother getting my frustration levels riding high. i just sit and smile. least i can do.

moving on, while the company celebrates its phenomenal feat of 1,000,000,000th guest, i'm nearing my 1000 flying hours. one thousand hours in an airplane making haley williams wish come true. one thousand hours of having peoples' lives in my hand. one thousand hours of having a dream come true, and possibly making dreams realized for others too. may not be much of a feat for some, but for someone who was once climbing trees, it makes a difference.

my life is here and now. as cliche as it sounds, i'd do it over again, not one bit different.

My Mom's Cooler Than Yours

flew to calcutta few weeks back. it was my first indian destination. there wasn't anything historic about it, except it being my first time into india.

oh wait. there were stories. just not those i can share so openly :D

the time difference was interesting. okay, it's only two and half hours difference, not like those of you who've been to europe/america/australia but let me blab anyways. it was quite odd because on the way back to kl, it was 8+pm and yet bright as hell. we were somewhere near myanmar at that time, running away from the sun, flying into the sunset. my stomach was rumbling for dinner, but my mind couldn't fathom the bright sun.

lesson learnt, when in doubt, trust your tummy!

*******

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment. "

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.

And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends".

- wanna guess who sent me this email? -

Snap A Pic, Then Snap Some More

what island is that?

ship ahoy!

loads of ships around.

awesome hong kong!

damn good visibility as you can see.

we could even see macau at the other side of the sea when landing in hong kong!

very rare because it's usually misty over here. couldn't get a pic of that unfortunately.

too dangerous to be taking pictures then.

beautiful, no?

did my first flight to hong kong at the beginning of the month. was awe-struck because hong kong is so pleasant. i ain't no flyfreak. he been there too many times already :P

and the weather was so awesome. really complemented the whole experience. there's just an energy and the place itself. something exciting, even though this coming from just a 25-minute turn-around view. if i could, i wanna live in hong kong someday.

it was that awesome.

plus, their reporting waypoints in the hong kong airspace really makes you hungry. names like: guava, chery, mango, lime, prawn, trout, tunna, lotus, pecan, acorn.

sounds a bit like something from a fantasy world.

i love hong kong. too early?

*******

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

- 2AM (breathe) by anna nalick -

From Ear To Ear With A Reason

finally, i am able to breathe again. after quite turbulent months, i finished line training. i don't want to do it again.

it's such a relief to be done with training, even though the reality hasn't sunk in yet. the studying will never end, but it's like a huge boulder off my shoulders now. every night before a flight, i used to feel like i was going to enter the exam hall tomorrow, stpm exam hall to be precise. it was so hard to fall asleep, because your mind keeps wondering, "did i cover this? how about that? how does it go again?". some nights, it felt like i didn't even sleep, because i kept waking up. too nervous, you know?

i think it's kinda of crazy the fact that my first training flight was to bintulu, and i ended the training with a flight to bintulu as well. were the stars, planet and moon aligned or something?

oh, and finally i can tell people i'm a pilot, not a trainee pilot anymore (wrong to be proud eh? :D ). some people don't understand when i tell them i'm a trainee pilot, and have to explain everything before they understand what it means. initially, they think i'd just sit and observe the captain fly the plane.

though the reaction after that would be, "so you're a co-pilot? when will you fly the plane?". sad i tell you. its a two man crew, and we both take turns to fly the plane. i'm not a seat warmer :P

tomorrow shall be the first day taking flight as a first officer. start of a new chapter, another huge step for my life, a new wave of responsibility here after. i love this job, and i wonder why i doubted my happiness during training last time.

plus, flying back to jb! see the stars, planets and the moon aligning for me yet again :D


p/s if you're wondering, basically our ranking system works like this: second officer -> first officer -> senior first officer -> captain.

*******

once during lunch, ITT turns and tells me out of the blue:

"next time when i big, i wanna be like you uncle sharman. i want to fly the plane. be captain".

so enthusiastically some more. i don't need kids with nephews like these :)


then the other day in school, his class teacher did the usual "ambition talk", and typically she wrote police, army, firefighter, doctor on the blackboard and told them to choose.

narrating the story to my mom, my mom asked him, "why you never say you want to become pilot?"

ITT: because the teacher didn't write on the blackboardddd...


the envy :)

Light Me Up

i flew to macau twice this week, back to back. yesterday, was a night flight there. just beside the terminal, stood the hyatt hotel, hard rock, and crown hotel. they had colourful lights from top to bottom. the lights were coordinated.

it was quite a sight watching the three buildings changing colour from yellow to orange to red to blue to green, from left to right, then up to down like drizzling down the ceiling.

how cool is that? coordinated technicolour. and behind them stood the infamous venetian macau majestically. the temperature at macau was 11degrees. when the service door was open for disembarkation, i could feel the cold air gush into the cockpit. brrrrrrrr.....

the whole atmosphere was incredible. the sight, the cold air, sadly i was all alone in the cockpit settling the paperwork. i don't get to enjoy night stops, but i think certain moments are best enjoyed for the shortest period, else they'll go basi.

what a life :)

*******

the sister was worried about IvanTheTerrible going to school and buying food at the canteen since ITT doesn't know how to handle money. on the second day of school, she gave him 2 one ringgit notes, and some coins just in case (in addition to packed food). when he returned, she asked him, "did you buy anything?". shocked with his reply though, because he came back home without a cent on him. alas, he has been introduced to the wonderful experience of money spending.

just for comparisons, my mom gave me 50cents to spend in primary 1. inflation, perhaps?

:P

Magenta Ain't Pretty

i started officially in the giant red & white metal tube on the 6th!

unexpected and pretty much unprepared. i went into my typical frenzy panic mood, but luckily the captain was extremely nice. he didn't rush me, knowing i was already rushed, and not to forget nervous too. i had no idea what to expect. of course the occasionally mind freeze had to happen. not with the flying, but knowledge.

it's been a never-ending learning process, and sometimes you take all the tiny finer points for granted. so when you're asked to recall, you get stumped for words.

almost like having a key, with a million doors in front of you to figure which it belongs to. in my head i'm shouting, "I KNOW THIS", yet i couldn't phrase it out in words because it all seemed to fuzzy. yes, study. i know. there's only so much i can store at my fingertips. my mind don't work the same like an external hard disk ready for plug and play, though i wish it did.

captain was incredible. he discussed, even asked for opinions. it is people like him who make flying so freaking awesome beyond words could describe. at one point he turned and said, "RELAX... am i that scary?", we both laughed because it was me scaring myself out, instead of him.

many will say you can't know everything, i don't find any consolation in that. we all know our limitations and capacities, it's just a little disappointing at this stage. i'm the type of guy who's always trying to note down as much as i can, and most times i get amazed with the intricate details i jot down too late. sadly, i don't read those notes because there's already a million other stuff to do. things we have learnt, we hope remember. guiltily, i don't revise cause i feel its exciting to learn something of the unknown. okay, nevermind...

i'm still relishing the moment. this is where i want to be. gotta get through some turbulent times first :)


for someone who never traveled much, here's to bintulu, k. kinabalu, and medan! the sky's blue-er from flight levels :D

*******

she: *sounded like* salmon, are you mixed?

me: salmon? it's shar-man laaa... yes i'm mixed.

capt: is he mixed? of course! norwegian and german salmon mix!

wth.

How Next?

sometimes i get insanely stressed, i can't sleep.

sometimes i get insanely stressed, i feel like running away.

sometimes i get insanely stressed, i start to eat more than i should.

sometimes i get insanely stressed, my stomach turns into a queasy machine.



and i get insanely stressed everytime i sit for an exam or test. i think i am exam-phobic. or test-allergic. or something like that. because its insane how the insides of my body go out of control during these times. i kinda like studying, but i hate being evaluated.

and its utterly annoying how nervous i get during exams that i start to look like a pea-brain.

-still coping-

Inexplicable Disaster

screw windshear. screw TCAS. and screw freaking terrains!

omg. i am such a mess. i can't believe the level of stupidity and atrociousness. it was unbelievable damnit!


it wasn't a mere brain fart. it was a damn blackout. a wipe out. it was a freaking dumbass at his best of being a dumbass.


i need to consolidate. i need to recollect myself from this.

when life throws you a curveball, you don't freaking run away from it. you anticipate and LOOK AHEAD!

flights of crosswind-landings ghost. damnit!

and you know what, screw radio stations too! screw radio stations with their akon, black eyed peas, natalie imbruglia and whatever rubbish cause that does not help my frustrations.

Aiyayai-bus

started full flight simulator (ffs) few hours ago. full motion and graphics and real controls. it was crazy.

sitting on the pilot not flying side initially, meaning my role was to monitor, communicate and do other stuff that does not require me to handle the controls, made me go dizzy a bit. it wasn't that feeling of nauseous, but felt like i was going cross-eyed, without the eyes going crossed. maybe my vestibular system was confused with the motion?

flying this aircraft for the first time, was really crazy. the controls were different from the conventional airplanes we used to fly in flying school. there was no normal/alternate/direct law back then.

please excuse the technicalities. but these laws, i'm speaking of, is basically protections for flying so that we don't unintentionally get into an unwanted situation. nothing to do with the ISA.

as wonderful as it may sound, it takes time to understand and accustomed to.

the aircraft is so technologically advanced, that its supposed to make flying easy peasy on normal days. but of course, that requires getting used to. which obviously i'm not.

coming for approach the first time, i could not maintain centreline (basically making snakes in the sky), and almost landed out of the runway, into the mud. so go-around, and return for another approach.

again could not get it right properly, but managed to make a safe and pretty ok landing considering its like the first ever landing on the airbus for me. but then braking was so bad. i could not brake evenly.

got quite the lecture for it. (reminded me of the DA42 days. had a hard time getting used to that cockpit.) thought to myself, and it must be the seating adjustments, feet position, something along those lines weren't correct again.

round 3. again snaking, but not as ridiculous as the first two attempts. managed to land centerline, and braking was wayyyy better, smooth and no jerking. however, it was an under-performed session. the reason could be due to the new aircraft, nevertheless outcome was not good.

" i wanna, i wanna, i wanna touch you,
You wanna touch me too,
Every way and when they set me free,
Just put your hands on me. "

the sidestick (what the steering-wheel is to a car) must be an AllAmericanRejects fan, cause it kept singing that to me.

lesson learnt from today's flight?


don't over control. need to stop putting my hands on the sidestick so much. just let the fingers do the job. amazingly, two fingers is all you need to fly this airbus gracefully. need to remind myself, to think the sidestick is a pile of shit.

you don't want to be touching shit much do you?!

Being Managed

been busy with the MFTD sessions past few days. learning new stuff, and the wonders about the aircraft's computation systems.

for all to know, auto-pilot is exactly just push-the-button and fly. you need to know which buttons to turn, which to pull, which to push. learning the basics of the auto-pilot isn't as direct as i'd expected. it did get me a lil confused, but i'm sure all will be understood in due time.

so many functions to know, with so little time. BUTbutBUT it is awesome.


sessions were also extra enjoyable since it was with a really pleasant captain. he says he's more familiar with london, compared to kuala lumpur. send him to museums and parks in london, and the tube's no problem for him. but send him to kl, and he'll get lost.

that's how much time he's spent in london. wow.

we got in a little conversation about dangerous goods today. and he said,

"we learn about dga (dangerous goods awareness), but the most dangerous of them all, are those in the tight hot red skirts!"

then during breakfast at the cafe, he remarked about a pretty crowd in front of us,

"see here. now, these are all the dangerous goods i was talking about".

"hahaha yes, sir!"

"ok stop looking at them, sharman. they're too wild for you".


hmmmm that's a first.



"but sir, sometimes its alright to be in managed mode", i quipped.

*******

when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade.

but i want durians. yellow, aromatic, suckullent durians. heh, get what you want.

Probed

my mind is.

been awhile since the last post. bit busy, plus without a connection as of yet at the rumah bujang (bak kata mak cik sekuriti).

past week has been filled with MFTD (maintenance & flight training device) sessions. an MFTD is similar to a simulator, but without the motion, or any graphic that shows movement. its a touch screen mock cockpit to put it simple.

'

these sessions were just like a welcome to the airbus family, i feel. familiarizion with the cockpit layout, cause different aircrafts have different cockpits, you don't want your hands hanging in the air searching for switches like doing the hokey-pokey. it was kinda cool, computarization and all. getting used to setting things up.

'

the last day, we entered the real simulator. THE cockpit was awesome. the thrust levers were just ass-kicking! awe-struck in there.

these sessions were just introduction, many to go. much experience to come.

reminder to self: working in a multi crew cockpit is rather different. need to get used to task sharing. need to get used to teamwork. loadz to work on that. enough of screwing up, sharman.

********

some pics on my laptop from 2 years ago, left abandon and forgotten. found em, and i thought of sharing. remember, they're a lil bigger and bugger now.

IvanTheTerrible supposedly as karate kid, hence the "bandana". which actually was the cloth used to tie the curtain.

NigelBiscuitBoy is crazy over tiger biscuit. seriously. the other day while shopping for groceries, he sat in the trolley. my sis placed a pack of tiger biscuit in the trolley, and he gushed:

"i lurrrrrrve tiger biscuit"

charming. advertorial material.

*******

my mind is boggled a little. do i really keep things to myself? *wonders* or maybe i'm just being a lil paranoid as usual.

RVSM

reduced vertical separation minimum. it allows more aircrafts to fly in the highways above us. of course, only with auto-pilot on because the higher we are, the higher degree of accuracy is required.


without the auto-pilot on, hand flying an aircraft to maintain level, let's say to our assigned height of 30,000ft (or more professionally, above 13,000ft onwards, we refer it as flight level 300 /FL300) is not easy. additionally with bigger jets, its not instant reaction everytime you make adjustments. it takes time.


plus, flying so high up in the sky, making these adjustments can be very dangerous. with a mere 150ft tolerance (though it may sound a lot, but really it isn't) to attain the assigned altitude, auto-pilot is the way to go. breaching safety codes, ample reports which could jeopardize your career and licence would come your way unavoidably. thank God for auto-pilot!

'

'

with RVSM certification for both the aircraft and crew on board, it allows airliners to fly in densed traffic areas, fitting in more aircrafts in one airway. at higher flight levels where 2,000ft separation was previously needed, can now be reduced to a separation of 1,000ft. so with less separation, more aircrafts can fly up in the sky. although you can't see it from the ground, but it really is busy up there. like kuih lapis. and now, i'm RVSM certified too. give me the pleasure of making you into kuih lapis? :)

him: why you look so sad miss s?

.

her: i'm not feeling well... i feel like throwing up.

.

me: are you pregnant, miss s?

.

her: yea right -.-''

.

him: you should see a doctor. i'm a self qualified doctor!

.

.

note to self: drink more water.

Give It Two Good Blows

i've always wanted to learn how to do cardio pulmonary resusitation (cpr). don't know exactly why. probably because its heroic to be saving a life. imagine how phenomenon it'd be to give jessica alba or beyonce the kiss of life! watching too much grey's anatomy i guess. or was it baywatch? (rofl)

but i didn't want to be attached to a licence to kill as well. plus, 5-7 years in medical school would definitely make me go bonkers without a doubt. no, i was never willing to give up that much of my life, no matter how noble i found the profession. i think i could serve the world better in different ways.

today, i got a chance to learn. well, it was unavoidable frankly speaking. its part of the areas we need to cover. just as a matter of caution. general knowledge kinda thing. because if something were to happen requiring cpr in-flight, the flight attendants would assume the primary roles. we in the flight deck, can't leave the aircraft unmanned. unless situation really deteriotes to an unthinkable point.

so if a person is seemingly unconscious, what do you do? you look for Dr. Abc!

D - dangerous. clear area of anything that may harm the fellow like sharp objects.

R - response. check verbally if the fellow really unconscious. squeezing his testicles is considered sexual harassment. instead, ask him, "sir are you ok? sir can you hear me?". if no reply, then safe to say he is unconscious. then shout out to a passerby, "call 911!".

oops. 999 i mean. 911 tak laku over here.

A - airway. not airways like golf466 and whiskey525 fellow airmen out there. it means to make sure he can breathe without obstruction. especially his tongue doesn't block his breathing. also check if there are any foreign objects down his throat. like fishball, furball, or maybe his own balls.

B - breathing. confirm no breathing by looking for movements of his chest, listening out for an exhale, and feeling for warmth of expired air. confirmed no breathing? proceed.

C - circulation. give him 2 good blows. the 2 best blow job you could ever give. ventillation, i mean. then proceed with 30 chest compressions, for every 2 ventillations.

remember, the secret is all in the hands, and your 2 good blows. after the blow job, lookout for an erection. eh REACTION, not erection!

the other day i was listening to FlyFm,

they were talking about weird names,

and one caller said he met a girl named Abcd,

pronounced as "ab-see-dii". creative!

Ladies & Gentleman,

'nuff said.