Don't Dream It's Over

the aussie trip didn't work out. so around asia we went.

phuket-hong kong-bangkok. and now i'm in penang. back to kl tomorrow.

sweaty phuket, amazing hong kong, party bangkok. there's so much life out there. so much to do. i wish we had a longer time. i wish life was always like this. i wish for endless nights. i wish for a lot of things, i know. i always wanted to turn 23, now i know why. this is it. sometimes you have to go further to find what you're looking for and enjoy the moment.

definitely an unforgettable one. the experience, the journey, the people. missing them already.

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Signboards With No Direction

i could not see anything. this room was so dark, chilly and endless. i could not find the doors, or maybe i just didn't want to. i can't remember when you crept in. your arrival, silent and unannounced, but i felt the temperature change. i can't remember when you crept in. i wasn't ready to move, but it felt good to have company. i wasn't sure who, what or where you were. or even if you were truly there. maybe you were just something out of my own creation. it was too dark to tell. i could not see you, but i felt you. but i felt you? like the heat of an expired breath in a desert. subtle. i felt myself relaxed. i felt alive. someone knew me better than me. discreet and comforting. you knew me, so much more, and you never said a word. i can't remember when you crept in, but i felt you. was i too silly? was i too naive? or maybe i just wanted you there. you came, you lingered, you thought it'd be okay to be silent. you left an undeniable imprint, intentional or not, i don't know. back then, i did not mind. but what if i know now, what you wished for to be a secret? now i was becoming claustrophobic. the walls closing in, yet i can't feel them. the ground slipping. palms sweaty. heart pounding. breaths short. why did you do this to me.

So Fazed

as i thought about blogging this down two nights ago, i completely forgot about the wedding i was to attend yesterday. gave me extra gist to getting it posted.

i like weddings which i care about. i hate attending ones where i've no idea who the bride or groom are, but attend it anyways because of obligatory reasons. because, evil as it seems, when people you don't know show public affection, it's annoying. at the back of my mind, i just want to get it over and done with and head back home. you're delaying me, mr & mrs bridegroom.

i like weddings because it's a heart-felt celebration of two people. two people you know and care about, and want the best only for them because they deserve it.

the atmosphere. the people. oh the people, if you had family like mine, you'd understand.

the whole situation of getting everybody together and making a simple affair grand-er than usual, is hard to describe. like an endorphin release. you feel it, and you enjoy the feeling. the couples will go all out to make it perfect, and as memorable as possible. attendants, just sit back and enjoy the flight. the silly moments or unexpected events, make part of the memory too. like the champagne bottle not popping, outfits gone wrong, etc. not because it's a dent in the planning, but because of the couple's frantic reaction. can get over dramatic at times.

as awkward as it sounds, but i do like weddings. because above all, it's about family. it's about friends so close, they're family too. you don't see unconditional love in our day to day busy lives, so it's nice to be reminded it still exist. something that should be appreciated more.

i feel it's quite a bummer when you see people rushing to the altar just because. like it's a race of some sort. or something they just need to cross off on the how-to-live list written by someone nobody knows from yesteryears, and not on their bucket list.

i was disillusioned by that, i must admit. we can't force things, just because we feel we need to and only realize the gravity of it once it's too late. i feared i was being eluded of the right to being celebrated about. but i've learnt, being the bestman should account for something?

always the bestman, never the groom, perhaps?

i can get used to that.

Remember In September

it's september already! damn that's fast. it's weird how i've gone through the year/life not realizing what's been around. i can't pinpoint what i've been doing the past year. i guess solidifying the career path is one, but other than that, i'm not sure. it's just a little messy. obscure very much.

truth be told, it's a bit of a train wreck. or maybe i'm just being paranoid. most times, we learn things in life after the mess, don't we? nothing is planned like a textbook. so maybe this is just the way it is suppose to be. maybe not knowing and feeling insecure, is the norm. maybe this is life served on a platter, sharman.

anyways, while i've been treading murky waters figuring life, this little boy has turn one already. third nephew, yet it's always fulfilling to see them grow up. hard to imagine he's grown so much but this is one heartbreaker in the making definitely. move over will.i.am, the real deal's here!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JGG!

may you grow up handsomely,

coz looks will always matter regardless of what people say.

(sheesh... what kinda uncle...)

and never forget that because you're my nephew, i had a lot of blow jobs done for your first birthday. things i do for you lil guy.

ps: a belated selamat hari raya to all. i had to forgo my rendang this year because i had to work. happy belated birthday to the flyfreak, and a happy future birthday to the foxtrot. may both of you always have orgasmic days lying in front of you!

Doing It Continental Soldier Style

few years ago, there was this song by jibbs "chain hang low". it had the chorus sung by kids, which was based on a nursery rhyme. it goes like this:

" Do your chain hang low
Do it wobble to the floor
Do it shine in the light
Is it platinum, Is it gold
Could you throw it over ya shoulda
If ya hot, it make ya cold
Do your chain hang low "

does it ring any bells?

anyway, this chorus is based on a nursery rhyme "ears hang low". and quite recently i've inadvertently watched barney (yes the purple dinosaur), because i'm staying with my cousin who has two kids at the barney stage. first time in my life i heard what he sang:

" Do Your Ears Hang Low?
Do They Wobble to and Fro?
Can You Tie Them in a Knot?
Can You Tie Them in a Bow?
Can You Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like a Continental Soldier?

Do Your Ears Hang Low "

at this point my cousin and i go:

"what the hell is a continental soldier?!"

after some ridiculous debate about what it means, we decided google would be the best answer to our confusion. so i typed "what's a continental soldier" and googled it.

try it out yourself. check the first link that comes up by urban dictionary. you'd start to wonder what in the world is barney watching/doing/singing. it's more of a barney stinson, than barney the dinosaur.

p/s atta, this adds more whatthefuck moments to childhood memories.